Not Wanted
by WeComeInBodybags
Summary: Bella has always known she'd never be in love. She moves to Forks, and meets artistic, if broody, vampire Edward Cullen. He tries to convince her that she can be loved.... will eventually be lemony...
1. Chapter 1

AN: okay, so this is my first story. Well, twilight fanfic anyways. If anyone does actually read this, I'm sorry if there are errors. I reread it 3 times, but I'm better finding other people's mistakes than my own….^^*

Disclaimer:Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer, not me. Which actually kinda sucks sometimes!

I was 16 when I realised that I'd never have my happy ever after. I'd just watched my best friend ride off into the sunset. She was painfully shy, rarely able to talk in public, yet she had still managed to catch her dream guy.

Alright, it was mostly luck, but still she'd done it.

Myself on the other hand had not. Of course, that was to be expected. My friend was beautiful, even if she hid that beauty. I was just plain, boring Bella. Limp brown hair, muddy eyes and bland skin with a boring body shape.

I was nearly 17, living in Phoenix with my Mom and step-dad, Phil. Both tanned from time in the sun. They were so in love, at times it was just sickening. It just hurt to watch something I'd never have.

I was depressed for a while, but soon came to accept that I would grow old and single. After all, it's not like a guy would ever want me. I went around Phoenix with my head down trying to ignore the worlds of bliss that I saw around me, despite my growing age and hormones.

It wasn't until I moved to Forks over 18 months later to live with Charlie, that I wished things were different. That I was beautiful. Noticeable. Loveable.

It was difficult at Forks High. Few students, even fewer new faces for me to blend in with. I became a novelty. I found that everyone seemed interested in me, despite the fact that there was nothing to be interested in. Every part of my life was scrutinised and brought into the open. And the worse thing was, there seemed to be no end to it all. By the end of the first month, I just wanted to bury myself under a blanket and hide until everyone forgot about me.

That first month had been unusually sunny for Forks. In fact, the local radio was calling the weather a heat wave, despite it being a lot colder than even the winter in Phoenix. The sun peeked from the clouds nearly everyday. Typically, the weekends, when we all had free time, was when the clouds decided to release their loads of rain.

Charlie's usual stony silence was a blessing and I found myself spending more time with him, in an effort to escape the students of Forks High. It was truly an effort to get up in the morning.

On my 26th day as a student however, the good weather had finally broken. The rain was pouring, as I dragged my jeans and black polo on. I ran to the truck Charlie had bought me, slipping on my ass just as I reached it. I cursed, but was glad my coat had stopped me getting my jeans soggy.

I drove to school, teeth chattering in the cold cabin, in yet another foul mood. Things went as normal, people being way too chatty and inquisitive, with my responses becoming shorter by the minute.

That was, until we stepped into the lunch hall. At a table in one corner of the room, furthest away from the food sat five remarkably beautiful people. Despite being a student in Forks for a month, I had never seen these guys before and they weren't faces you could easily forget.

The two females were dressed like runway models, looking fabulous and pristine, despite the weather. I felt myself longing to look like them, even the tiny one, who from sitting down, looked like she barely made it to five foot.

But it was the guys who caught my eye the most. Utterly delicious, all of them. I mean, one looked constipated, and another obviously spent was too much time in a gym, but it was obvious that they would be perfect for whatever you had in mind. The third however, looked as miserable as I felt. He was staring into space, boredom and sadness written across his face. The way he looked made me want to go over to him and give him a giant hug. Not that he'd appreciate it. The need I felt to comfort him wasn't the only emotion. Lust, curiosity and sadness hit me.

Since my realisation, I had never wished I could change my fate. Not once had I ached for the warmth of love. But when the bronze haired god met my eyes, after being jabbed by the constipated deity next to him, I felt my heart tear.

My brain projected fantasies of him sweeping me off of my feet. Falling in love. Getting carried away in his car. Getting married. Then reality reappeared, as I realised that it would never happen. I felt tears begin to form, as I turned on my heel, and fled the cafeteria.

I heard the herd of people who had been annoying me all day gasp, and mutter. I ignored them, heading towards the parking lot.

I was nearly there when a hand grabbed me, pulling me to a stop. True to my clumsy form, I stumbled and fell. The person caught me. I pushed away from the hard chest and started to run again, the tears flowing freely now.

"Wait." The single word halted my feet immediately. Deep and rich, it sent a shudder through my body. I turned.

"What?" I asked, voice thick.

"I wanted to introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen." He looked at me, his deep black eyes seeming to stare deep into my soul.

"Nice to meet you Edward," I replied, and turned to walk away. I made it out of the doors without him trying to stop me.

Unfortunately, I tripped, and fell head first down the steps. I felt a sharp pain before everything faded to black.

I really hated Mondays.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I keep forgetting things. For which I apologise. However, to make up for this lack of memory, I will say now: this story will almost certainly be lemony, in the end. Why I didn't say that before, I have no clue. Ah well, it may make this unappealing to some of you.

To others, I appreciate the enthusiasm. Two reviews with 3 hours of posting….but while I started the 2nd chapter right away, I have a VERY important exam next week. So I won't update til next Wednesday at the earliest for Chapter 3.

Anyways, enjoy ^^

Disclaimer: All of Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Whilst I enjoy playing with the Cullens, they aren't mine T_T.

I liked the dark. Nothing to see, no one to see me. Just emptiness. Unfortunately, the darkness always turns bad, just as I'm waking up. This time, my head was throbbing, and I could hear the roar of my pulse hurting my ears. I groaned, and tried to roll over. I felt a pain in my elbow, and cracked open an eyelid.

I instantly wished I hadn't. I was in yet another hospital, my third visit this year, and it was only March. The pain in my elbow was the IV lead pulling up short, tugging on the canula. I swore, and sat up a little. My head didn't stop throbbing, but my elbow stopped throbbing. I was in a cubicle, presumably still in the ER, and the paisley curtains surrounding me made me feel nauseous.

I was all alone, but I knew someone would have heard me swearing and would be along soon. It would probably be Charlie. Still, at least it wasn't Renee. She always panicked, no matter what happened. I could give myself a paper cut and she'd still end up hyperventilating.

Sure enough, less than five minutes later, Charlie's worried face peeked through the curtain. I waved half heartedly at him. Instantly, a few dozen wrinkles smoothed out of his forehead. He nodded, and disappeared again. I was slightly confused at this.

All became clear when he reappeared with a tall, gorgeous doctor. Blonde and as hot as the guys from the cafeteria before, his good looks were marred only by the grave look he had on his kind face.

"Hello, Isabella, I'm Dr. Cullen. You took quite a fall today. You gave everyone quite a scare." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He checked my reflexes. Because of my experiences with hospitals, the neural exam that followed was rather tedious, especially with the pain in my head increasing steadily.

"Alright. You have a mild concussion, but you should be okay at home, if you promise to rest. You'll need to keep the stitches dry, but I'll be able to take them out in a fortnight. Charlie, I have some paperwork for you to sign. It was nice to meet you Isabella." He looked less stressed, and the smile was genuine this time.

"It's just Bella. You said you're Dr. Cullen right? Are you related to Edward?" I asked, suddenly curious. His features tightened suddenly, but he nodded.

"He's my son," came his reply as he turned to leave "He was there when you fell Bella. You're very lucky to be alive. I suggest you get some rest." He disappeared behind the curtain.

The nurse came, gave me a bottle of painkillers as Charlie signed the discharge papers. We made it home, Charlie spending more time watching me than the road.

"Dad, shouldn't you watch the road? I've had one head injury already today, I don't need another."

"Sorry Bells," he looked slightly embarrassed, as he turned back to the road, "you just gave me such a fright. When the hospital called and said you'd fallen headfirst down some steps, well, I was worried. But don't worry, I'll call Renee when I get home, and she'll relax too."

"You called her?" I asked, shocked. Charlie actually squirmed in his seat. "Great. This week can't get any worse, and it's only Monday."

We did make it home, and after some screaming, Renee was calmed down. I went to bed in my tiny room after swallowing the painkillers. After half an hour of waiting, they finally kicked in, and I drifted off into a blissful sleep.

The rest of the week passed in more or less the same manner. Charlie became strangely concerned with my daily routine, refusing to allow me to go into school, and pretty much locked me in my room. I finally put my foot down on the Sunday evening, when Charlie decided that six pm was an appropriate bedtime for a 17 year old.

He eventually agreed to allow me to go to school, provided I came home if I felt tired or ill. I think it was mainly due to the fact that he was uncomfortable with conversations that lasted more than ten minutes.

School was dreary as expected, but more exciting than sitting at home. It was funny watching Mike getting hit with the basketball as he paid more attention to talking at me than his game.

It wasn't until I walked into Biology, however, that I wished I'd stayed at home. Over the last few weeks, I had been sitting at a desk with what I thought was an empty seat next to it. However, it was now filled with Edward Cullen.

He looked over at me, as I walked into the room. He didn't smile, instead seeming to once more stare through me. I walked over and sat down quietly.

He didn't speak until after the teacher had finished his lecture on meiosis. We had al started on a matching activity, trying to simulate the process using string and cardboard. It wasn't working. He sighed, as he saw the mess I had gotten myself into.

"Are you alright there?" he asked.

"I'm fine." I replied shortly. We continued in silence, until I said suddenly, "thank you."

"For what?" he actually seemed puzzled.

"Well, you were the one who called for help when I fell, right?" I asked.

"Don't worry about that." He shrugged. Silence fell again, until I caught him staring, seemingly at my neck.

"Is something wrong?" I asked irritably.

"No. Sorry. So, Bella. Enjoying your time here at Forks High?" He asked, the last bit in kind of a rush.

"Yes. The people here are so considerate. They never invade my personal space, never ask embarrassing questions, and love letting me have privacy when I need it." The sarcasm rolled off my tongue before I could stop it. Edward chuckled. I smiled relieved.

The conversation continued to flow after that, Edward seeming to respect that there were things I didn't want to say. He also seemed to take things seriously, but still smiled every time I made a joke. I even managed to forget how perfect he was, enjoying talking to him as a friend.

Eventually, the bell rang, and we headed to the cafeteria. Edward seemed so engrossed in the conversation that he didn't actually eat any lunch. It was soon my turn to ask him questions, while I shovelled down food. He talked about his family a lot, his love for art in all of its forms, as well as his old life. Edward had apparently moved down from Alaska only recently, and was missing all of his old friends. It wasn't until the bell rang again that things got awkward.

I was just outside my locker, Edward leaning on my neighbour's. I was laughing at his story about the penguins he had seen in Alaska. As I laughed, my hair slipped from behind my ear, to hang in front of my left eye. I reached up, but Edward was already brushing it back for me. I froze.

"Bella," he asked, voice quite, but serious, "I was wondering…"

"Yes Edward?" my voice was breathless now.

"Would you like to go to a movie sometime?" he finished. My head began to roar.

After all, there was no way Edward Cullen was asking me out on a date, right?


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I know Bella's realisation didn't really appear in the last chapter, but it does in this one. We also get to meet Alice. So far, there's been one new Cullen per chapter. I wonder if that will continue….

Disclaimer: Twilight is owned by S. Meyer. Lucky her…

"I beg your pardon?" I asked, feeling faint.

"Would you like to go to a movie with me?" Edward repeated, with a concerned expression on his face, "Bella, are you okay."

I really wasn't. I was hearing things. Because honestly, there was no way someone like Edward would ask something like that to someone like me. I turned, and walked away, to a nearby empty classroom. I slumped down onto an empty seat. My brain was racing, trying to find other reasons for the question. Or maybe I'd misheard. Yes, that was it. I'd misheard. Maybe I should have stayed at home. I'd spent too long awake. Maybe Dr. Cullen had been wrong about the mild concussion. Or maybe, after all this time alone, my brain had gone mad.

I was brought back to Earth by Edward's voice. He seemed to be repeating my name over and over, in his caramel voice. I shivered, and looked up at him. His face was back in its sad frown, the one I had seen in the lunch hall the week before.

"Bella. Bella. Bella, talk to me. What's wrong? Do I need to get you to a hospital?" I gave a shaky laugh.

"I'm fine Edward. Really. Sorry about that. But I could have sworn you asked me out on a date. Don't worry, I'm just going crazy." I rambled, and he frowned.

"Bella, I did ask you to date me." He interrupted, but I kept rambling.

"Completely crazy. Must be all of the head injuries over the years. I mean, why would someone like you want to date someone like me? I mean I'm not exactly-wait, what?" I broke off as my brain processed his sentence.

He seemed amused now, "I asked you to go on a date Bella. Why wouldn't I want to date you? You're a beautiful, smart, funny woman."

"Looks like I'm not the crazy one," I muttered. He laughed, and sat down next to me. "I, uh, appreciate the offer Edward, but I think you're better off finding someone else."

"Really?" He seemed thoughtful, "I can't think of anyone. Sorry. Friday at 8?" he stood up to leave.

"Edward, come on. I said no." I protested.

He didn't turn, "No you didn't. You said I'd be better off finding someone else. And I really like you Bella. Ever since you fell down those steps, it's been like I've been the one who went head over heels. So I'll talk to you in Biology tomorrow, okay?" With that, he disappeared.

I put my head in my hands. This was not happening. He was not going to make me break my promise to myself.

After my realisation, I had decided that it was better to remain single, than to even bother to date, and be discarded as the useless creature I was. Until now, there had not been a single male stupid enough to think that I was a good dating choice. I laughed. Edward really was really crazy.

And I was really late. I hurried to my English Lit. class, and sat down in the back with a mumbled apology to my teacher. She ignored me and went back to going over the Austen novel we were meant to be reading. I slid it out, and got lost in a world of corsets and balls, ignoring the teacher altogether. I was sad to leave my world when the bell rang, but I dutifully trudged out of the classroom, towards my truck.

Where a certain crazy person was waiting for me. I groaned, and he grinned.

"Edward, what do you want?" I asked wearily.

"You look exhausted. I thought maybe I should drive you home. Don't want you to have another accident."

"How will you get home. Alice will come and pick me up."

"Isn't she too short to see over a steering wheel?" I asked sarcastically. Edward laughed loudly this time.

"Wow Edward. Not only are you once again making fun of my diminutive stature, but you're doing it where I can hear you?" Came a tinkling voice from behind me. I flushed down to my toes, and turned. Alice smiled up at me.

"Hi Bella. It's nice to meet the girl who can make my brother smile. We'll be great friends, I just know it!" She seemed to bounce everywhere, despite not actually moving.

"He isn't difficult to amuse," I replied. It was true. Edward seemed to smile a lot, "I'm sorry I called you small." She laughed, and gave me a hug, her tiny arms snug around my waist.

"If only you knew. Dark brooding Edward smiles very rarely. Possibly once a decade," She joked, her eyes twinkling. Edward shot her a dirty look. She ignored it, "he tells us you're coming to visit on Friday."

I coughed, blushing. Edward looked away, before mumbling, "she is."

I sighed, "No, I'm not Edward." Alice's face fell, and Edward's frown returned.

"Yes you are. End of story." He sounded more like a petulant child than a 17 year old.

"Edward, you can't force her. Maybe she's busy." Alice said gently. He actually growled at her, before stomping away. I burst out laughing. His shoulders hunched, and he sped up, towards the people I now knew as Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie.

"Do you want me to drive Bella," Alice asked hesitantly. I shook my head.

"I'm good thanks Alice. It was nice meeting you." I said, as I climbed into the truck. She nodded, and waved as she skipped away. She paused, and turned back, just as I was pulling the door shut. She reached inside the cab and gave me another hug. I laughed, and ruffled her hair. She handed me a piece of paper and instructed me to call her, so that we could get to know each other better, and disappeared again.

I drove home slowly, being extra cautious. Edward was right, I was shattered. But I knew that if I let on as much to Charlie, I would probably have my truck keys confiscated. So instead of heading to bed for a nap, I made dinner.

While I was waiting for the water to boil, I decided to call Alice. I dialled the number, and was shocked when Edward answered.

"Hi Bella!" His voice was light and happy. I was instantly cautious.

"Hi there Edward. Is Alice around."

"I think she's below me, trying to grab the phone. Hold on," he laughed, passing the phone to Alice who was scolding him for answering.

"I thought you said your brother never smiles, Alice. It sounds like he is right now." I laughed, and she giggled.

"Hang on. He's trying to steal it back again." I heard doors close, and Alice giggling.

"It's amazing Bella. He was stomping around when he got home, and when you call. Well, he turns into a marshmallow. It's rather sweet. I kind of like the effect you have on him." She laughed.

"I don't think it's me Alice. Maybe he's on some new medication. He obviously needs it. He's crazy. I mean, why would me calling affect his mood?"

Alice's laugh became louder, "don't you know? Because he's in love with you sweetie!"

I dropped the phone in shock.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: =D there's another Cullen in the wings, waiting for an introduction. This chapter is longer than the others, but Bella wouldn't stop talking. So I went with it. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to S. Meyer. I'm just playing with the characters ^^.

I stared at the phone. It was still lying on the floor, and I could vaguely hear Alice calling my name. After a while, her high pitched voice became frantic, and I picked the plastic piece up in my numb fingers.

"Alice? I've got to go, I'm burning the dinner." I said shakily. She protested, but I gave a slightly firmer goodbye, and hung up.

While I had lied about burning the dinner, I did still have things to do before Charlie got home. I put the oven chips Charlie was addicted to in the oven, and got out the frying pan.

I made myself busy, frying the steaks, cooking the vegetables and setting the table. The tasks gave me little relief from the pain I'd felt after Alice's comment, but I managed not to break down crying.

Such a simple, light hearted statement. Alice hadn't even meant it. I'd only known Edward for a week.

But it was still a sharp reminder of my realisation. Of course Edward didn't love me. No one could love someone like me. He'd realise his mistake soon enough. I'd let him get too close, chatting away. It almost seemed realistic to think that maybe we could go out to dinner, watch movies. But sooner or later, something would happen. Edward would finally see the real, ugly me. Or maybe, a beautiful exchange student would steal Edward's heart from me.

Not that it was mine in the first place. I blinked, and shook myself, mentally. I yelled at myself internally, and jumped three foot in the air, when I heard Charlie come through the front door. I was so preoccupied, I hadn't heard his cruiser pull up outside.

I hurriedly put the dinner onto plates, and was just setting it down as Charlie hung up his gun belt on the hook.

"Looks good Bells," he grunted. I nodded in thanks, and sat down to munch on some green beans.

After a totally silent meal, Charlie retired with a couple of beers to watch some reruns of lasts week's game.

I cleaned up, lost in thought. Mainly, how I was going to convince Edward to stay away from me. After all, it was for his own good.

I was washing the last of the steak knives, still thinking, when the phone rang. I jumped again, and the knife slipped, gouging into my skin. I groaned, and ran to get the phone.

"Hello?" I said, gasping.

"Bella, are you okay?" came Edward's voice. I snorted.

"I'm fine. The phone made me jump and cut my finger is all. What were you calling for Edward?" I asked irritably.

"You're bleeding? Bella! Put the phone down and stop it! Do you have a first aid kit? You need to put antiseptic on it-" Edward's voice was fast, and I interrupted with a laugh.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen, I do. Hold on while I go get Charlie to give me a hand." I placed the phone on the table, and went to interrupt Charlie's relaxation time.

"Dad, can you help me bandage this finger? I slipped when the phone rang." Charlie looked at me, shook his head, and lumbered away, fetching the first aid kit. He was used to patching up injuries, both his own and mine, given our clumsy natures.

After Charlie was once more involved in the TV, I picked up the phone again, and heard Edward mumbling something about, 'crazy girls'. I laughed.

"You're right, I am insane. That's something that will never change. Maybe you need to find a less clumsy friend." My tone was light hearted, but I was serious.

"Girlfriend." Edward stated firmly. I sighed.

"Edward, this is silly. I'm not meeting your family on Friday. I'm not even dating you. Find someone else. Someone better for you." I snapped. There was a pause, before he finally replied.

"You keep saying that Bella. And you won't explain what you mean. Talk to me." His voice was calm now, less petulant than before.

"There's nothing to talk about Edward! I'm not dating you. Find someone who deserves your love," I yelled, before realising my mistake, "goodbye Edward."

"Bella, wait-" I hung up, before slumping into a chair. How stupid was I? I had suspicions that saying things like that wouldn't make Edward go away. I needed a plan. I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. Most girls schemed to catch guys like Edward Cullen, not get rid of them. Of course, he was obviously certifiable, so maybe they didn't try to catch him specifically, but still.

I finished the washing up, using a glove to protect my finger before disappearing upstairs. I lay on my bed, and looked up at the dirty white ceiling. apart from realising that I still had major spring cleaning to do, I was mainly drawing a blank.

I could try ignoring him, but is yummy voice would probably distract me from my resolve. I could find a way to insult him, making him hate me. After our conversations in Biology and during lunch, I should be able to come up with something, right?

I wracked my brain, and came up with very little. Only his passion for music, art and prose shone through. I sighed. I'd have to find a way to put down one of his creations then. And that would mean letting him get close enough to show one to me.

I knew Edward was wrong for me. I really did. But he was so handsome, and the way we had just clicked, well it made my heart feel warm for once. I wanted Edward to love me. But I knew I didn't deserve it. I also knew that Edward would probably find a way to get me to go out with him. And that when something went wrong, I'd be devastated, and he'd just be Edward, with someone else.

With that cheery thought, I closed my eyes, and let my exhaustion carry me to sleep.

I had been expecting to see Edward the next day, demanding an explanation for the night before. But he was nowhere to be found.

Another Cullen managed to fill my day, however. By the end of break, I was sure that Alice's real parents had been a hurricane and a midget on speed. She seemed to spend the whole time moving, chatting away constantly. Luckily, she seemed to appreciate the fact that she was overwhelming, keeping her distance after the bone crushing hug I'd received when I'd first arrived at school. She also made me laugh a lot, mostly at her sheer madness. Despite her spiky black hair, she seemed to have blond heritage in there somewhere as well, pulling off some spectacular mistakes, like forgetting that lemonade fizzes out of the bottle if you shake before opening.

She managed to keep my spirits up the whole time, abandoning the rest of her family who, without Alice and Edward, seemed a little lonely, especially during the lunch hour. Jasper in particular, stared at us with longing.

Edward was apparently, suffering from a stomach bug, and Carlisle was keeping him home for several days. I commented on the suddenness of it all, and Alice just giggled.

"That's Edward," she laughed, "always so overdramatic." As she spoke, the bell rang, warning that we had to get to class. I headed towards English as the pixie danced away, waving as she twirled.

At the end of the day, something odd happened. I opened my locker, and was shocked when something jumped out at me. With surprising skill, I caught the object, just managing to grasp it, before it hit the floor. I put my books away, before looking at it closely. A brightly wrapped present, it was shaped like a CD box. I shrugged, and tucked it into my bag for later inspection.

I made it to my truck before Alice caught me again. She demanded a hug goodbye, which I laughingly gave her. I then warned her not to stand behind any cars, as she was too little to be seen. She pouted and taped my and through the open window. I laughed again, and turned the key to the truck. The engine coughed, but didn't turn over. I sighed, and tried again. Still nada. Alice giggled. I looked at her tiredly.

"Hold on a sec," she said, "I'll go get Rose. She's a car whizz." She pranced off, shortly returning with an annoyed looking Rosalie. She glared at me, before popping the hood. I raised an eyebrow at Alice, who shrugged.

After ten minutes, the blonde reappeared, still without a air out of place, or any oil grease on her designer clothes. I sighed in envy as she slammed the lid shut.

"Give it a try." She suggested. Her voice was a lot sweeter than her expression, and I dutifully turned the key. The truck purred into life, sounding better than I had ever heard it. Rosalie turned to walk back to her car.

"Thank you Rosalie." I called.

She stopped walking, and this time her voice was sneering, "no problem." She carried on, slipping into her shiny red convertible. Alice sighed.

"Sorry Bella. Edward isn't the only one with an attitude problem." She murmured, and waved as she left to join her sister. I smiled as she did a little flip to get into the back seat, instead of using the door.

After driving home and eating with the ever silent Charlie, I decided I should probably do some homework. I opened my bag, and the box from my locker caught my eye. I pulled it out slowly, and unwrapped. As I had thought, it was a CD box. A note fluttered onto my bed, and I picked it up.

_Bella,_

_Edward wrote this song last week, after meeting you. He told us that you were his inspiration, but that he didn't think you'd be interested in hearing it. Overdramatic fool. He did get one thing write though. To quote,_

'_Only someone as beautiful as Bella could inspire me to write something this good.'_

_Lots of love,_

_Alice_

_xx_

I shook my head. Alice was insane, as was Edward. I wasn't beautiful. But I had a flashback to my previous plan, of insulting Edward. By handing me one of his compositions, Alice had given me a weapon I could use to let Edward down with. I didn't even have to listen to it.

But longing tugged at my heart, and I found myself sliding it into my battered old CD player. I plugged myself in, and hit play. The sound of a piano slid through my brain, captivating, yet so soft, I was holding my breath so that I could hear it playing. The melody washed through me, and I found myself swaying gently.

It was beautiful. As soon as I heard it, I knew I couldn't tell Edward I hated it. As I listened, I could hear Edward's longing, flowing straight into my heart, and causing my resolve to fracture, just a tiny bit.

And as it did, I felt a lone tear flow down my cheek, dripping onto Alice's note.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I'm sorry this took so long. Life, as always sneaks up on me. I also apologise for my lack of creative response to reviews. This chapter is longer, to make up for the wait! ^^

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all the characters. I'm just letting them out to play a little!

It was Friday before Edward reappeared. My finger had healed, and Alice had become a monster. She seemed to be trying to reorganise my life, one day at a time. While I was amused, the other Cullens didn't seem to be. Rosalie spent the majority of the time glaring at me. And if looks could kill, I'd be six feet under. Even Jasper, Alice's boyfriend seemed to be unhappy with the amount of time Alice was spending with me. When I mentioned this to Alice, however, she just laughed.

"Jazz isn't used to sharing. I think he's more grateful that I'm planning on taking you shopping, rather than him, again." She grinned and waved at the blonde, who gave a faint smile.

"Shopping?" I asked horrified. Alice rolled her eyes at my expression.

"Yes Bella. For proper clothes. How old is the stuff you're wearing?" she asked.

"Only a year. Alice, I don't need clothes." I retorted. Alice look a little shocked.

"A year is too long Bella. Have you not heard of seasons? And these aren't exactly flattering." She looked me up and down, before sighing.

"Thanks Alice." I said drily.

"You're beautiful Bella. You just need to get rid of these old things, and wear something to show it. When you do, Edward will find you irresistible." She smirked. I jumped.

"No shopping Alice. I don't want Edward to find me irresistible. I want him to be my friend." I said firmly. She pouted, and pulled out the puppy eyes. I closed my own and turned away.

"Please Bella!" she pleaded, dancing around me. I shook my head, and started to walk away. Of course, I promptly tripped, and had to put my arms out to break my fall.

I didn't hit. Two arms caught me. Strong, Edward shaped arms. I looked up. Sure enough, Edward was grinning down at me, a crooked smile that made me smile back. His arms were cold, presumably from the weather outside. He quickly set me back on my feet.

"Hey." He said gently, his amusement very evident, in both his topaz eyes and his voice. I blushed, and looked down.

"Hi. You're feeling better?" I asked quietly.

"Hmm?" he sounded confused, and I glanced up. His eyes flicked towards Alice, and his mouth twitched, "I'm just fine Bella. Why were you running with your eyes closed?"

"Because Alice is trying to make me go shopping. Save me Edward!" I cried, and Edward laughed. Alice's eyes narrowed.

"After all I've done for you Bella!" Alice whined, and it was my turn to giggle.

"Sure Alice. Saving me from calling a mechanic. No, wait that was Rosalie. Stopping me from falling flat on my face. Nope, that was Edward. Stealing Edward's mus-" a hand was clamped over my mouth. I squirmed, but Alice was surprisingly strong.

"Stealing my what?" Edward looked confused, "Alice?"

"Bella's just being silly. Don't worry about it," Alice replied firmly, "come on Bella. Let's go plan our shopping trip." She dragged me away. I was helpless to resist. Alice really was a strong shortie.

"What the hell, Bella?" Alice hissed. We were practically on the other side of the school. I was rubbing at my mouth, where her grip had hurt slightly.

"He'll find out at some point Alice. And at least at school, he can't yell too loud or anything. What's the problem?" I asked, confused.

"The problem Bella is that the last time someone stole something of Edward's he didn't get mad. He became depressed. Tried and failed to kill himself. His work is 'sacred'." Alice moaned.

"Why do I get the feeling that you were the thief then too?" I asked drily. Alice rolled her eyes, but nodded, "I get why he feels that way. The song was beautiful Alice. But I can't have been the inspiration."

"Bella, he spent all night at the piano after he met you. Of course you are. What else would inspire him to- damn. He's coming. Act natural." Alice replied, looking worried.

Edward was indeed heading towards us. Although I was puzzled as to how Alice knew, given that he was approaching silently from behind.

"What are you two up to?" He asked when he finally reached us.

"Nothing," Alice said quickly, "just saying goodbye." I raised an eyebrow.

"Goodbye?" I asked.

"Edward is planning on hogging you today. So I won't get to talk to you." She pouted, and I laughed. I got poked for my trouble, before receiving another midget hug, as Alice danced away.

Edward did keep my attention on him. He made me laugh, with tales of his brother's antics. I sighed with envy at the stories of Esme, his foster mother, and her love of smothering her kids. I spent most of Biology talking, giving my own perspective. Renee, with her loveable antics. Charlie and his love of all things fishing.

I didn't even realise the time. I endured the time apart at the end of the day, with a silly smile on my face. It wasn't until the teacher shouted for me to pay attention that I snapped out of it.

I'd let Edward get inside my guard. Answering questions I wouldn't for anyone else. Not thinking about what I was doing. He must have thought that I'd changed my mind. Stupid Bella.

I was right. He was awaiting me after the last bell rang, looking like an eager puppy. I approached him warily, and he seemed to instantly sense my mood change.

"Please Bella. Come back to my house? You won't have to meet my family, only my parents. And you've already met Carlisle. If not as my girlfriend, then as my friend. Please?" His brilliant amber eyes mesmerised me, and his voice was sorrowful. I found myself nodding, and he grinned. "Excellent."

I shook myself as he looked away, "Edward. I really shouldn't. Besides, we can't just avoid your family."

"They've got plans for a double date in Port Angeles. We could join them if you want." Edward didn't miss a beat. I shuddered, and shook my head. He took my hand, and led me to his Volvo. After handing me into the passenger side, we set off.

The journey was silent, uneventful. I was nervous, and after the first ten minutes, I found that Edward was holding my hand as we sped along the forest shrouded roads.

His hand was as cold as I felt. I shivered. He pulled away, and put the heating on full blast. I smiled at him, and he flashed that heart stopping grin my way. My smile faded as we slowed, Edward turning the car into a little road resembling a driveway.

"Edward?" I asked after about two minutes.

"Yes Bella?" he asked amused.

"Where's your house exactly? We could be in Port Angeles by now!" he chuckled.

"It's just up here Bella. Don't worry; we'll get there before the summer." I scowled. And gasped as we came round the bend.

It was beautiful. Reminiscent of an old Tudor house, with darkened beams criss-crossing all over the front, it stood at least four stories tall. The sash windows were huge on each floor, and the ones surrounding the large oak front door were stained in a beautiful rainbow of colours.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward's smile. He pulled into a garage, which was a stark, modern contrast when compared to the rest of the house.

He led me through the side door. The house was beautiful inside as well. Dark wooden floors with pale furniture sparsely placed decorated the ground floor. The place was very well lit, and I gasped as I saw where it was coming from. Someone had removed the back wall of the house, replacing it with glass panels. The view was amazing.

I was concentrating so hard on the house I missed Edward's parents. I was startled out of my gawping by soft laughter. I looked over. Dr. Cullen was standing next to a woman who was as beautiful as the rest of her daughters, if slightly older.

"Hi." I said awkwardly.

Esme smiled, "hello Bella. It's nice to finally meet you. Edward hasn't stopped talking about you. I'm Esme." I blushed and Esme laughed again before stepping forwards and enveloping me in a wonderfully smelling hug.

"It's nice to see you outside the ER Bella." Carlisle remarked after Esme had let me go. Edward chuckled, and I glared up at him. He stopped abruptly and gave me a soulful look, before I turned and gave Carlisle a sweet smile. This made Edward's parents laugh.

"She has you sussed already Edward," Esme said affectionately, "dinner will be ready about seven Bella. Ravioli sound good to you?"

"It sounds brilliant Esme, but I really couldn't stay. It's so nice of you to have me over anyway and, well, I have to go home and make dinner for Charlie." I replied blushing. Esme's face fell slightly.

"If you're sure Bella. Maybe some other time?" Carlisle interjected smoothly, putting his arm around Esme.

"Sounds good." I nodded, and Edward started to pull me away from the entrance hall.

"If we're on a schedule, I want to show you some things." He said, tugging me towards the stairs. I waved at Carlisle and Esme, making them chuckle again.

I was out of breath by the time we reached the top floor. Edward had practically run up the stairs before pulling me into his bedroom.

Which was missing a bed. I glanced around quizzically, making Edward laugh.

"I suffer from insomnia Bella. I don't sleep much. Generally just veg out on the sofa." He pointed at the offending leather article. I shook my head.

"You are just plain weird Edward." I said laughing. He bowed with a flourish.

"Why thank you mademoiselle. May I offer you refreshments?" his eyes were dancing.

"Sure." I said without thinking.

"I'll go get some soda. Make yourself at home." He bounded out of the room and down the stairs. I laughed. He really was a maniac. It was hard to believe Alice when she talked of a brooding, suicidal Edward.

I sat on the sofa, looking around. The glass wall had continued up the house, and I could easily have stared out at the river and forest that gave the house a beautiful setting. Instead, I chose to look at the layout of Edward's room. There was an entire wall covered in shelves, stuffed full of books and CDs. Some of the books looked to be sketchpads, and I pulled one that was sticking out briefly.

I flipped open the blue book. The first pages were of landscapes. An odd aerial view of the house. The river. There were a couple of his family. Carlisle in a room that looked like a study. The women sunbathing on a beach somewhere.

After that came sketches that had been crossed through. The paper was ripped with the force of Edward's scribbles. I stroked it softly, smoothing some parts down, before moving on. A few blank pages later, and I found myself staring at the image of a beautiful girl.

It was the only colour image in the book. Her hair was many shades of brown and red, falling gently around her face. Her eyes were a beautiful brown mixed with gold, surrounded by thick brown lashes. Her skin was pale, although a luminous blush graced her cheeks. And her lips. Edward had coloured them a mixture of bright red and purple. She really was beautiful.

I was so busy staring at her; I didn't hear Edward's return. I did notice his shadow blocking my light as I stared, and I looked up in wonder.

"Edward. Who is this? She's beautiful." I whispered, and he gave a wry smile.

"I must be a rubbish artist if you don't recognise her. Of course she's beautiful. The most amazing person I've ever met." He replied.

"You're an amazing artist. I should know her?" I replied confused. Edward reached across, gently brushing my hair back from where it had fallen to tickle my nose.

"Yes Bella, you should." I looked down. She did look familiar, but I still had no idea. I shook my head.

"The girl in the picture is you."


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Well, this chapter flew off my fingers. It has taken me longer to decide what to write in this note than the chapter ^^. Ah well, you meet the second to last Cullen. I was also planning on including the poetry, but the chapter was turning long. So that's something to look forward to! Have fun!

Disclaimer: owns all of the characters. I just like to manipulate them a bit.

"Me?" I asked. Edward laughed.

"Yes Bella. You are the beautiful girl in the picture." He prised the pad out of my hands gently, and flipped over the page.

There were more. Not all in colour, but all of me. Some where I was drinking, munching on a banana, concentrating. Even one that looked like I was sleeping. I looked up at Edward. He was looking wary, although I had no idea why.

"Why me?" I asked. He smiled.

"It's been a long time since I've been happy with anything that I've drawn, written or composed, Bella. But seeing you in the cafeteria changed that. I've only had to think of you and I've been creating. It's truly amazing. And when I'm around you Bella, everything's okay. I know you don't understand any of this, but you will eventually. I promise." His eyes were pleading. I was frozen, staring at him.

"Bella. Talk to me." he leaned forwards, looking like he was about to brush my cheek. I jerked backwards and he was the one who froze.

"Edward," I began slowly. My thoughts were racing at the speed of light, but I knew I had to fix this now, "these pictures. They're brilliant, really. But do you not think that maybe it was because I'm new here? I'm a novelty, something you've never seen before. It's amazing that you feel this way about me Edward, really it is. But I'm not this girl," I pointed at the drawings, "that girl is stunning Edward. But she's not real. There isn't a beautiful Bella. I know who I am Edward. And I'm not a happy ending. I'm the opposite."

His eyes widened. He made as if to speak, but I shook my head. I stood up from the couch, looking at the view across to the mountains now shrouded in twilight and mist.

"I should go," I said. I turned to the door, "do you have a phone I can use to call my dad?"

"Bella. Please stay," Edward began. I shook my head, closing my eyes to fight back the tears, "then at least let me take you home. Alice can pick you up on Monday morning."

"I'm not sure she'll enjoy you planning her life for her, but thank you Edward." I acquiesced. Edward held the door open, not looking at me as we made our way out of the house.

I'd barely been there for any length of time. Esme emerged from the kitchen long enough to give me a sad hug, as if sensing the tension.

I wished things were different, but I had known as soon as Edward revealed the girl as me that he wouldn't give up. No, he would have wanted dates, wanted to fall in love. Happily ever after.

And that was something I'd never have.

The drive back to my house was silent. Edward knew the way without any directions, much to my relief, as it meant I didn't have to speak. I knew my voice would be hoarse with the unshed tears, and I didn't want Edward to know how much I cared.

We pulled up outside my house, which look tiny and ugly compared to his. I undid my seat belt, and made to get out of the car.

"Bella," Edward began. I cut him off.

"Thanks for the lift Edward. I'll probably see you at school on Monday." I stepped out, and closed the door behind me.

I looked back when I was on the porch. Edward was staring at me. His expression was a stark contrast to the one usually on his face. It looked like he was frozen in agony, his pale skin contorted and his eyes black with pain. I waved, and he flinched before nodding and driving off.

I stepped into the house. I had been so busy concentrating on Edward that I hadn't noticed Charlie's cruiser in the driveway.

"Hey Bells." Came his voice from the kitchen.

"What are you doing Dad?" I asked.

"Making dinner. I guessed you'd gone out with your friends. I'm reheating some Bolognaise. Want some?"

"Er, no. I'm good," I really wasn't hungry, "you sure you're okay to cook?"

"I've looked after myself for years. Do your old man a favour, stop worrying so much. Let the sun brighten your day." He smiled at me, and I felt a weak imitation brush my face.

"Sure. On the three days it shines I'll do that," Charlie snorted and waved at me with a spoon as I turned to leave, "don't give yourself food poisoning."

I made it into my room before the tears hit. I slumped onto my bed, as wave after wave fell through me. I held back the worst of the sobs, keeping the eruption of misery quiet enough to keep Charlie unaware.

I was red faced and blotchy when the waterworks finally slowed, almost an hour later. I cleaned myself up, sneaking into the bathroom to cool my heated cheeks.

I was sleepy, and just wanted to forget about my evening. Edward would move on. It might take him a while, if Alice's stories were true, but he'd find an amazing replacement. One worthy of him and all of his talent.

I tried to imagine the girl who would finally capture Edward's heart. Tall, and beautiful, of course. Kind, intelligent and fashionable. Personable. Would she be blonde? I could imagine him walking with a graceful strawberry blonde, with tanned skin and legs up to her waist.

I felt a pang of jealousy wash through me at the thought of Edward kissing her. Touching her. Holding her.

I shook myself. Stupid Bella, getting jealous of someone she'd just severed ties with so severely he probably wanted her guts on the floor. And now talking about herself in the third person.

On the plus side, with no new girls in town, Edward wouldn't be kissing anyone for a while.

And it was to that cheery thought that I drifted off, fully dressed.

Monday was not a good day. Have I mentioned that I hate them?

Alice had pulled up bright an early, but made no move to greet me as I got in the car. She hit the gas and we sped away. The locks had clicked shut as soon as I shut the door. I glanced over. The pixie did not look happy.

"As much as I love you Bella, I sure so not understand you," An odd southern twang was present in her voice as we sped along, "what were you thinking?"

"About what?" I asked.

"About saying those things to Edward! How could you? He loves you. And you do what. Tell him to take a hike?" Alice was furious.

"Alice, I did not-" I interjected, but Alice wasn't finished.

"I told you how he gets depressed Bella. He didn't hear what you told him. He heard you say you didn't want him. That you'd rather someone else have him. That he wouldn't have a happy ending. And you decided to do it after he opens up? He doesn't show anyone his work Bella! No one. It's been years since Edward let anyone see his drawings.

"Do you know how he spent the weekend Bella? He smashed his window. With his prized violin. And tried to through his cello out after it. which he would have managed if Emmet hadn't stopped him. And after the destruction, he locked himself in his bathroom and won't come out. All because of you Bella." Alice thumped her steering wheel, and it gave an odd groaning noise.

We'd pulled into the school parking lot, but with the locks in place, I had been unable to escape the horror of Alice's words. She looked like she was gearing up for another round when I was saved.

By Jasper knocking on Alice's window. She rolled it down.

"Enough Ali. She gets the idea." His voice was obviously the source of Alice's earlier twang. I couldn't imagine a stronger southern accent. She closed her eyes and muttered to herself.

"I'm sorry Alice." I said. She looked up so fast, she must have gotten whiplash.

"Don't apologise to me Bella." She said angrily.

"Out of the car Alice." Jasper said suddenly. She slumped in her seat and nodded, before stepping out. I got out shaking.

I was horrified. I'd never imagine Edward would ever do the things Alice had described. But he obviously had. And it was all my fault. I should have found a better way to get rid of him. He obviously had some major insecurities.

I moved through my classes like a zombie. Going over the scene in the Cullen household again and again in my head, trying to think about what I could have changed. Why Edward hadn't understood my words.

I stood staring off into space during the lunch hour. I didn't even realise I had company until Jasper cleared his throat. I jumped, and looked around.

I was sitting outside, perched on a picnic bench which stood under the shelter of an overhanging roof. It was cold, and pouring with rain. If I was honest, I was probably sitting outside as a punishment for hurting Edward. Not that he'd know.

"Bella?" Jasper asked. I shook myself again.

"Sorry Jasper." I apologised, and turned to watch him. He wasn't wearing a coat, but seemed comfortable despite the chill.

"Don't worry about it. Ali gave you a lot to think about, didn't she?" he asked. I nodded and he continued, "but I'm not sure she's entirely right. About it being your fault."

"Of course it's my fault," I replied bitterly, "he doesn't throw violins around normally does he?"

"Usually it's his guitar. He really hates it for some reason." Jasper said deadpan. I looked up at him, and he grinned. It was the first time I'd seen his face as something other than pained. It was like the sun had come out, even as the rain poured harder. I swallowed, and looked down.

"I don't understand this Jasper. I was only telling Edward the truth." I said hoarsely.

"No Bella. You told him what you believed. And he took that and twisted it to fit what he believes. There's a huge difference." He replied easily.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, puzzled.

"I can read people. Not as well as Edward can, but I can read you. You don't think you're beautiful. You don't want to be noticed, because then something might happen. And when Edward noticed you, you panicked. Because all of a sudden, the things you told yourself to get you through the day might not be true. You might actually have an ending that's something other than obscure."

At the start of his speech, I found myself looking up, and gazing into his golden eyes. As I did, the guilt seemed to wash away, to be replaced by a calm I hadn't felt in a long time.

"Jasper. I'm wrong for him. He deserves someone better. You see that, right?" my voice was small, but he heard me anyway.

"No Bella. I don't. Alice doesn't, Esme doesn't, Carlisle doesn't, Rosalie doesn't, Emmet hasn't met you, but he's pretty up for it, and Edward isn't seeing anything but you. Maybe you're the one who's looking at this wrong." I shook my head. He sighed, and held out a book.

"Here. You need to read these." He flapped it in front of my nose and I grabbed it, blinking.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Edward's most recent book of poems."

"Did Alice's thieving ways rub off on you, or are all of you Cullens light fingered?" I asked, genuinely curious. Jasper laughed.

"It was rescued in the hope that it would survive his temper tantrum. From Esme's worried hands, to me, to you. Have fun." He lifted a hand as he walked away.

I flipped open the book. Pages covered in Edward's elegant script. I stopped a few pages in. I felt my breath freeze in my throat as images of misery rose up from Edward's words. A tear fell onto the page as I finished the last line.

I read on, addicted. Some of the poems seemed so similar to how I'd been feeling, it was like Edward had written them for me.

I reached a turning point though. Poems of love, of quiet joy. Happiness and revelation. Words that made me want to laugh and cry. And gave me an idea.

I caught up with Alice as she left her locker. She smiled as I approached, as if knowing what I was going to say.

"Hey Alice," I said nervously. She nodded, "can I follow you back to your place in my truck after school? I need to stop at my house first though."

"Sure Bella." She seemed happier now.

I smiled. I'd get him out of that bathroom. Edward was in for one hell of a shock.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Again, the AN is holding up the chapter. I may just start posting it blank! I'm also getting nervous because of the great reviews, so I'm hoping you like! Also, the last Cullen is introduced, although Emmet's joke did have to be altered so that he didn't offend anyone. Enjoy! ^^

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns the characters, even if they are a bit odd here. I own the poems though. Edward was feeling too depressed to write his own just now! ^^

I had driven home at as great a speed as my truck could manage. I spent 15 minutes looking for what I needed, before Alice decided to step in.

"Look under the bed. Stuff is always under the bed." She advised, and sure enough, I found what I was looking for stuffed in a cardboard box under the bed. I sighed in relief and we zoomed off again.

The atmosphere could not have been more different as I walked into the Cullen house for a second time. A tense silence filled the air, and I could have sworn Rosalie was planning on killing me. I stood in the hall and fidgeted as I waited for Alice to finish doing something obscure.

Rosalie was standing by the stairs, like a guard dog. I had no doubt she'd stop me if I tried to go up without Alice. I could hear Esme in the kitchen, rattling. She had looked so upset when I arrived, and practically pleaded with me to stay for dinner this time. She looked so sad I agreed without thinking, but after the way her face lit, I knew that I had done the right thing.

As I waited, the poems I had read flashed through my mind. Edward's sorrow seemed to fill the air.

_I stand up in my room_

_My skin as cold as snow_

_Watching other live_

_Having things I'll never know_

_Kissing by the river_

_Smiling in the sun_

_I'm watching those in love_

_And hearing them having fun_

_But there is a problem_

_My heart has gone to ice_

_For I will never have_

_A woman to be my wife_

_No riding in the sunset_

_Nor fulfilling happy dreams_

_For I am unworthy_

_Of any love it seems_

"Bella," Jasper startled me from my thoughts, and I glanced up, eyes bright, "what's the matter?"

"Just one of the poems. I'm fine." I replied thickly. Jasper looked like he was about to speak again when a booming voice interrupted.

"Wow. So you're finally here, eh?" a massive shaped loomed. I looked up. And up. Eventually my neck started to hurt. Emmet was truly massive.

"Have you grown? You weren't that tall when I saw you in the cafeteria." I asked. He laughed, which was just as loud as his voice.

"Sorry, nope. I haven't grown in ages," This made the others chuckle. Emmet's presence had definitely cheered the room up. I smiled, tentatively before Emmet spoke again, "so Swan. What's the plan? Need me to break down the door for you?"

"No thanks. I've got a better idea. He'll come out on his own." I hope, I added silently.

"I can't imagine Eddie coming out of there for just anything," Emmet gaped suddenly, "you're gonna seduce him! Little Edward finally gets some! Go Bella!"

I turned tomato red. Emmet laughed loudly. Jasper and Rosalie snickered.

Esme yelled from the kitchen, "Behave yourself Emmet!" but it was more affectionate than reprimanding.

The house seemed happier again. It was almost infectious. So much so, it was hard to believe Edward was locked in a bathroom upstairs.

"Well, I can't think of anything else!" Emmet exclaimed, "especially as Edward seems to find you attractive. He spent a full hour, an hour Swan! Telling us about only your eyes. I think he likes them." I rolled the objects in question, still blushing. Yes, Edward did seem fond of them. A happier piece of poetry floated from Edward's book.

_Tis not the midnight skies  
But the sparkle in your eyes  
That brings me this open space  
You stand, watching my face  
Your smile, pretty and fine  
Says one thing 'you're mine'  
And I can't help but take a pace  
Closer to your warm embrace  
All that matters is you  
And the way you knew  
From the way that I pleaded  
All that I have ever needed  
Was your soul saving kiss  
That shows the meaning of bliss_

The poem made me blink back tears again. Emmet tilted his head.

"You alright there? Not that much of a hardship to get it on is it?" he swore as he was thumped by Alice, who danced back into the room. This earned a reprimand from Esme on his use of language.

"Don't be ridiculous Emmet. She isn't going to seduce him. She's going to be artistic." Her bell voice floated quietly from somewhere beneath Emmet's waist.

"She'll rip through more of his stuff like acid?" Came the shocked reply.

"Artistic Emmet! Not caustic." Emmet shrugged.

"Speak up down there then. What's the difference anyways? Edward always likes to rip stuff to shreds." He reached down and patted Alice on the head, before jumping when she twisted his hand, pinning it behind his back. The others laughed as Emmet apologised frequently, begging for relief.

As much as the laughter was a relief, it was also beginning to chafe. How could they forget that Edward was upstairs, upset and alone? Did they not care?

"Can we go now Alice?" I asked impatiently, and she nodded, stepping away from her big brother, who rubbed at his wrist.

"Of course. I'll get the rest of the stuff you need out. We hid it so that it didn't get ruined." She pranced up the stairs and I jogged to keep up.

When I reached the top, Alice was waiting, holding all that I needed. I thanked her as she danced away, before heading into the bedroom.

The window had been boarded up, presumably until Esme was sure Edward wouldn't smash it again if it was repaired. Unfortunately, the wood wasn't much good at keeping the heat in.

The rest of the room was a mess. Books ripped and thrown everywhere. It seemed Edward wasn't too fussy about what he ripped up.

One thing I did notice however was that while the pictures of me had gone everywhere, none of them were torn. Indeed, there seemed to be more than I had seen before. But maybe that was my imagination.

I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked. I heard a growl come from the other side.

"Edward, it's Bella. Will you open the door for me?" a pause, before Edward replied.

"Go away Bella. You don't want to be here. They shouldn't have made you come"

"They didn't, but you're right. Your room is seriously cold. Downstairs is much warmer. But it's be harder to talk to you from there." There was more silence. I sank down onto the floor, leaning against the door.

"I read some of your poems." I began. I heard a choking noise.

"How?" he asked.

"I got given them. They're very," I searched for the right word, "diverse." Silence.

"Edward, you misunderstood me before," I heard a snort, faintly, "I like you Edward. So much it hurts. But I'm not good enough for you," silence, "when I first saw you Edward; I thought you were a god. One who had been banished from home, and was depressed about it. You looked amazing. I had so many fantasies swirling in my mind. But I thought that you'd never be interested in me. So I ran. And even when you chased, I kept running. I'm so sorry Edward.

"I didn't believe Alice when she told me you were depressed. You always seemed so happy, perfect. After you drove me home on Friday, I thought you'd be fine. I lay there and dreamt of this perfect girl that you would meet. Beautiful, tall, athletic, graceful," I snorted, "and I was so jealous. But I thought you would be happier when you met her, instead of me ruining everything.

"But then I read your poems Edward. And I saw how much you were hurting. But the thing is Edward, they seemed so familiar to me. Like no one ever saw me.

"No one has ever drawn a picture of me before Edward. Ever. And it was so beautiful. But I have to wonder if someone's ever drawn a picture of you either. So, if you'll give me a minute, and accept the fact that I'm severely lacking in skill, I have something to show you." I got out the paper and pencils Alice had given me. I sketched Edward's face, with a crooked grin on his mouth, eyes happy. Or at least I tried to. It wasn't a very good drawing, but when I felt satisfied, I labelled the drawing.

Hot smile. Kaleidoscope eye colour. Voice. Intense gaze. Serious hunk. I drew arrows in red, before giving the drawing a title of 'Edward the Sex God". I looked at it and giggled. So the mouth was too large, his eyes were wonky and he had a monobrow. But still, I'd tried my best.

"Here you are Edward. Just remember I'm bad at drawing, and you're hugely better than my attempt, okay?" I slid it under the door. It was grabbed as soon as it was halfway through. I waited for a response. It was sadly lacking. After five minutes, I tried plan B.

"You know I said your poems were familiar Edward? Well, there's a reason for that. I'm better at poetry than at art," I flipped open the book I had found under my bed, finding the one I wanted before copying it onto a fresh sheet of paper, "and your writing seems so similar because I've been more or less writing the same thing. Here's an example." I slid the sheet under the door again. The snatching process was repeated. I waited, hoping that it would work. I had nothing else left. But luckily, I eventually heard Edward draw a deep breath.

"Bella," he whispered, voice full of pain, "this is. I don't know-there's more?"

"Yes Edward. Of course there is." I replied softly.

"Can I read it?" he asked.

"Only if you come out of there. I'm not passing my book through to have it ripped up." the lock clicked on the door, and I scrambled away suddenly.

"I'd never damage anything belonging to you." He stood in the doorway, looking down at me, both pieces of paper in his hand.

He was a mess. Well, his clothes were. Covered in dust, paint splotches and ink stains, they were rumpled from his time in the bathroom. He was just as glorious as ever, though his hair was more rumpled and his face was lined with so much pain that I felt tears build up for him.

"Hey." I whispered, and he reached down to help me up.

"Hi," I was flush against him before he released my hand. His now free hand came up to stroke across my face. His touch was cold as well, possibly as much as the room. I shivered, and Edward removed his hand, "sorry about that. Lets find you a blanket or something." A whimper escaped me as he stepped back. I found myself instantly craving the contact. His mouth twitched a little, and his expression eased a bit.

He snagged a quilt and wrapped it around me. It was way too large, and covered part of my face as well. I felt like an Eskimo, but Edward seemed satisfied, and pulled me to the couch. After sitting down he looked at me expectantly. I raised my eyebrows.

"You said I could read more." He pouted like a petulant child. I sighed and hugged the book to my chest, "hand it over Bella." I grudgingly obliged.

He read avidly. His face flickered with emotions as he flipped through. Eventually, he looked up. His eyes were black once more, and I gulped as he gazed at me.

The staring contest was interrupted by a squeal. I had enough time to move out of the way before Alice was hanging off Edward's neck.

"Enough Alice." Edward growled. She let go reluctantly.

"Did we interrupt?" came Emmet's voice from the door, "oh, Edward, were you reading Bella a bedtime story? Can I help?" he plucked my book of poems from Edward's hands quickly, holding it out of his reach. He flipped it open to a random page.

"_Hot is one thing I'm not  
Everyone ignores me  
Love is a fantasy, never real  
Laughter is a thing of the past  
Of my friends, all but one have left  
I'm too scared to say what I think  
My birthday is always forgotten  
No one knows my 'dirt', no one cares  
Originally, I was lonely  
Being ignored is something I excel at  
Or people think my sister is me  
Don't worry, it's okay  
You'll forget you met me soon_

Cheery stuff. Mnemonics were never my thing though, sorry Bella." I was shocked at Emmet's show of intelligence as Edward finally managed to extract the book from Emmet's grip, causing the elder to frown.

"Why are you here?" Edward growled.

"Esme sent us to fetch Bella for dinner. It's getting late. Come on Emmet. Esme wants more help." Alice led the way out of the room. Edward nodded, and pulled me off the sofa into his arms. He peeled the blanket off of me, and looked down. He was inches from my face.

"Thank you Bella." His gaze was intense once more.

"For what?" I asked breathlessly. I honestly couldn't remember anything at that point. Only what Edward's muscles felt like against me through our clothes.

"For showing me your stuff. For coming, despite my family. Although I must say-" he was getting closer to my face.

"What?" I was confused.

"You suck at portraits." He chuckled, kissed my nose, and pulled me out of the room, down to his waiting family.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Okay, so it's been a while. But this chapter has been with me around the country, where I have had no internet access. For instance, Carlisle is where the last part was written. ^^. To compensate, the chapter is very long. I also haven't replied to any reviews…I'm getting there, but I thought a chapter would be preferable! Alas, the long update time will probably become the norm, with everything starting up again. Sorry guys!

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns Twilight. I do not…T_T

"This is wonderful Esme. You're a brilliant cook." I said after swallowing a mouthful of tagliatelli.

"Thank you Bella. Edward tells me that you cook for your father. Maybe we could get together and share recipes sometime?" came the soft reply.

I smiled into her caramel eyes, "that sounds brilliant."

Of course, the lovely moment if connection was lost as Emmet snorted around his food.

"Emmet were you a pig in your last life?" I asked sincerely. This gained a chuckle from everyone, as Emmet tried to look contrite.

"Really dear, we must work on your manners." Esme said slowly, eyes twinkling.

"Practice makes perfect." Quipped Alice.

"Maybe we should have formal dinners every night. You could even have seconds. You are vocal about your large appetite." Emmet groaned. The others laughed.

"Please Mom. Cut me some slack! When am I ever gonna need formal manners?" he asked petulantly.

"When you meet the parents of your future wife?" I suggested. I lost my grin when Rosalie gave me a death glare. Emmet put his hand on her shoulder and turned to Carlisle.

"Hello sir. I'm Emmet Cullen. I've been dating your daughter for quite a while, in case you didn't know. I'd like to marry her, but I've got terrible table manners. Is there a problem?" the others laughed.

"It's hard not to know. You aren't exactly quiet," muttered Edward next to me. I squeezed his hand under the table, and he smiled briefly at me.

"You aren't hungry?" I asked him. He had barely touched the food Esme had made us. He shook his head.

"Not for pasta." He replied, his black eyes boring into me. Emmet guffawed.

"Now who has no manners? You should thank Esme for the lovely food Edward. I'm sure it's just what you needed after a weekend going hungry. But if you really don't want it, I'll eat it." Emmet grinned. Edward's eyes narrowed.

"No Emmet. Carbohydrates aren't as good for you as protein. I know you prefer meat anyway. How about we going out to the kitchen, and I'll make you a nice knuckle sandwich?" he replied. Emmet laughed.

"Bring it on Eddie." He replied standing up.

"Don't call me Eddie," came the growling reply.

"Boys," Esme chided, "we do have a guest. Emmet, sit down, until everyone has finished. Do you think you can behave for five minutes?" she asked, and Emmet looked down, embarrassed.

"Sorry Mom." Came two voices in unison. Esme smiled and nodded.

"Now Bella," Alice began, startling me. I looked at her, wary of her tone, "I was thinking that we should go shopping on Saturday in Seattle. You don't have any plans right?"

"Alice," I began, but I was quickly cut off.

"Please Bella?" Alice pouted, "I need help choosing clothes for this season. And I'll take you to bookstores too." I bit my lip. I was looking for new reading material.

"Alright Alice, I'll come with you." I sighed and Alice jumped in her seat.

"Good! Of course, you'll have to sleep over. Will Charlie be okay with that? Hmm." She seemed to drift off into her own world as I shook my head and finished my food.

I looked up at the clock. It was getting late, I had spent quite a while getting Edward out of the bathroom. I stood, Edward a beat behind me.

"Thanks for all this Esme," I began. Esme smiled, "but I should probably get back. School day tomorrow and everything."

"Of course Bella. I'm sure I'll see you soon. Probably when Alice brings you home on Saturday." She came and gave me a soft, wonderfully scented hug.

I walked towards the door, Edward following me. He moved silently, although I could feel his gaze on my back. After stepping out onto the porch, I turned to face him.

He was still a mess. But I couldn't imagine a better one. I shivered at the thoughts running through my head. Edward closed his eyes.

"Bella. Stop doing that." He groaned.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"You've been licking your lips constantly, all through dinner." I blushed, and mumbled an apology. He shook his head, and came closer, enfolding me in his arms. I found myself tucked under his chin, pressed against his chest. I could feel his strength around me, in the muscles in his chest and in the corded strength of his arms.

I sighed when he pulled away too soon. He gave a brief smile before stepping back. His black eyes were sad still.

"You'd better get going," he said, and I nodded, slightly confused. He waved and watched as I climbed into my truck, started the engine, and drove away.

It wasn't until I got home that I realised that Edward still had my book of poems.

The week was uneventful. Edward and I spent a lot of time together, mainly in silence. There was still an air of sadness around him, despite my attempts to lift his spirits. My attempts at being cheery were dampened by his refusal to return my book.

I was also not looking forward to the weekend. Whilst Charlie was more than happy for me to stay with Alice, I didn't like the looks Alice kept giving me, almost like she was measuring me for the perfect outfit. I took to hiding behind Edward every time I noticed her appear. Unfortunately, she was adept at sneaking up on me, and I didn't seem to be able to escape her gaze. I even had nightmares about it.

Because of this, I was tired and more than a little cranky when Alice turned up two hours early on Saturday. It was six am, not a good time to wake me on the best of days.

So when she bounded into the room, all chipper and happy, I snapped. I threw a pillow at her, and told her to leave and not return until eight. She looked upset, and even started to sniffle as she apologised. I sighed and sat up.

"I'm sorry Alice. I'm just really tired," She shook her head, still looking down, "give me a chance to get ready, okay? Then we can go."

She jumped up, her eyes dry, and started searching through my closet. I groaned. Scheming pixie.

"You planned that, didn't you?" I asked. She laughed.

"Of course. Go shower, while I choose your outfit." She whirled, searching through my chest of drawers now. I retreated from the room hastily as clothes began to fly.

When I returned, everything was neat and tidy once more. However, Alice had laid out an outfit that I didn't recognised.

The dark skinny jeans and blue shirt were reasonable, I'll admit. But why Alice had to lay out a lacy thong and bra set was beyond me. so I decided to ignore them, getting out my own.

When I emerged downstairs, Alice was chatting happily to a dumbstruck Charlie, who was dressed in waders. I looked around. Sure enough, there were several fishing rods and a bucket propped on a counter.

I shook my head, trying not to laugh as Charlie began to edge away from Alice slightly, her early morning energy daunting to say the least. I got my breakfast together, trying to as unobtrusive as possible as Charlie and Alice discussed the benefits of a tuxedo over a normal suit. I decided to step in and save my father as Alice moved on to corsages.

"Alice, would you like a drink?" I asked. She broke off midsentence and turned towards me, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of another victim.

"There you are Bella! No, thank you. You nearly ready yet? You're very slow this morning."

"Not everyone has pixie dust for breakfast Alice." I replied. She grinned.

"Well, Mom won't let me have caffeine. I need to get my energy somewhere."

"I can't imagine why she says that. You and Edward are bipolar-you're the manic, he's the depressive." I replied drily. She gave her bell laugh, and stood up, just as I finished my bowl of cereal.

She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the house. I waved at Charlie as I passed, who looked relieved at the prospect of some quiet.

"Now, I've packed your bag for the weekend. So we're all ready to go. Just put your shoes on, and we'll move." I slipped my trainers on, before being whisked away.

It was a long trip to Seattle, despite Alice's love over travelling at double the speed limit. She talked constantly, mainly about where we were going, what outfits she wanted to buy. I mainly tuned it out, until I caught Alice talking about clothes that would suit me.

"Whoa. I'm not getting clothes. You said you needed help choosing your clothes, not mine." I cut in. Alice gave an evil smirk.

"No, I said I needed help choosing clothes, not my clothes. Honestly Bella, you need clothes more than I do. It'll be relatively painless, I promise." I glared at her, before giving up when I saw her determination.

"Fine, but I get to veto stuff, okay?" she nodded, before clapping her hands, "Alice! Hands on the wheel!" she laughed, but this was less bells, and more witches cackle.

"Oh Bella. We are going to have so much fun!" I groaned, and slumped in my seat.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. True to her word, we spent half the day in bookstores. Or at least, I did. Alice went off to do more clothes shopping, but always managed to reappear just as I was finished in one shop.

She also compromised. I bought several outfits that I knew I would never ever wear, and Alice let me have some new normal outfits. There were even some pretty things that I would wear, but would never have gotten without her help.

The one major problem of the day was Alice's refusal to let me pay for anything, including books. We had argued, before the pixie pulled her tears trick again. Like an idiot, I fell for it again. I was annoyed after she jumped around after I gave in. her only response was to decide that I was cranky because I was hungry.

She was probably right. She fed me several times during the day, and said that I was more biddable after I'd eaten. I must admit, shopping was draining. I wasn't a girl who could shop all day. I generally spent an hour at a time, and still avoided it if at all possible. Unfortunately, from Alice's veiled threats, I would be spending a lot of time doing it in future. She also warned me that I wouldn't be allowed a veto in future, and that I would soon be gaining a whole new wardrobe.

Alice had insisted that I change when we arrived back at the Cullen residence. We had flown past the rest of the family, Alice tearing through the house, pulling me behind her. I had barely gotten a glimpse of Edward as we ran upstairs, but I had seen him sitting at his piano.

When we got upstairs, Alice somehow carrying the majority of our many bags, I was forced to change. The tiny tornado whirled around, searching for a mystery item, finally pulling out a sapphire blue dress.

I obliged her, wanting to escape for a few minutes, and retreated into her bathroom, changing as slowly as possible. When I emerged, she had packed everything up neatly again, and was sitting on the bed expectantly. She too had changed, and was wearing a bright orange sundress.

She clapped as she saw me. I blushed. The dress was pretty, a layer of blue lace that was only a single shade lighter than the silk that lay beneath it. The short sleeves hid the edges of my shoulders, though with the scoop neck line, my collar bones were still visible.

"You look amazing Bella. How does it feel?" she asked.

"Short," I replied. I rarely wore something that didn't cover all of my legs. She rolled her eyes, "but I'll get used to it. It really looks okay?" she nodded.

As that moment, Esme's voice floated up the stairs.

"Dinner's ready girls. Time to stop playing dress up." Alice stood, and clapped her hands before pulling me back down the stairs.

We walked into the dining room. My face was red as I realised that the rest of the family was already seated, although all the men stood as we entered the room. The old fashioned civility of it was ruined by Emmet's wolf whistle. Rosalie thumped him, and Carlisle gave him a disapproving glare. Jasper and Edward didn't seem to notice however.

Edward's eyes were glued to me, making me blush more as I moved into the room. Jasper too, was entranced, although it was Alice he was following.

We both slipped into our chairs, the guys sitting down at the same time. As we dug into our exquisite meal, the conversation flowed freely. Edward however, remained silent throughout the whole meal.

As soon as I had finished, he grabbed my wrist and led me out of the room, through the kitchen and outside into the backyard. I could see the river, rushing past as the moon peeked from behind its blanket of cloud.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I asked. I was starting to get annoyed at being pulled around everywhere. He ignored me, standing with his back to me staring out at the forest.

"Edward. Stop messing around," he still didn't move, "fine. I'm cold, so I'm going in. Have fun." I turned away.

"Wait. Just give me a minute, please." His voice was quiet, empty. I paused, turning back to watch him.

It took him a while, but he did eventually face me. I gasped. His face was taught, eyes a stark black against a pain lined face.

"Edward?" I asked. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before his expression eased and he opened them again.

"Bella. You have no idea how hard this is. You're like oxygen to me. but I can't do it anymore." I went numb.

"Do what?" I asked in a whisper.

"Pretend to be someone, something I'm not." The pain in is face was back.

"I don't understand what you're saying Edward."

"You shouldn't be here Bella. You should go. Find someone you can share happiness with. Find someone who looks at you and sees your beauty, not something else when they look at you."

"Edward, I know I'm not beautiful. I don't care if you agree. But I don't know what you're talking about." I replied, throat tight. My chest was aching, my pulse pounding.

"I'm not normal Bella." His voice was thick as well.

"Because I'm your average Joe."

"Bella, you don't understand." He was pleading now.

"Then explain," I was suddenly angry, "because last week, you were all for this. In fact, you acted like a three year old, throwing a tantrum! And now you change your mind? No, Edward. Not without a damn good explanation."

"You're right, and I'm sorry. It was fine, amazing. But when you came down with Alice, you looked so amazing. Bella, the things I've done. I don't deserve you." He looked broken.

"Are you going to start making sense anytime soon?" I asked. He ran his hands through his hair.

"When I say I'm not normal Bella, I mean I'm not _normal_." I rolled my eyes.

"Not normal. So you eat live mice? Torture ants. Think you can fly. Those sort of things?"

"I can fly. Well, more or less. Mice are too small. And ants are insignificant. Come on Bella."

"You can fly. Edward, humans can't fly."

"I'm not human Bella." He gave a wry smile. I sat down heavily on a nearby boulder, next to the river.

"So what are you then? Spiderman's hotter elder brother?" he laughed and shook his head.

"Don't be silly Bella. Spiderman doesn't exist. I'm a vampire."

I laughed so hard I nearly fell into the river.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Wow. It's definitely been a while. But anyways, here is chapter nine. There seems to be a lot of laughter in this chapter, but maybe that's just me. Enjoy! ^^

Disclaimer: Belongs to SMeyer and not me. Now there's a shock.

When I had finally gotten the giggles out of my system, I sat up. Edward was still standing there, staring at me in shock. The look of horror almost set me off again, but I stifled the urge and just grinned instead.

"What's the matter Edward?" I asked.

"You aren't scared." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"How'd you figure that one out?" I asked, smirking still.

"Bella, I just told you I'm a blood sucking fiend. Why aren't you running for the hills?" he asked, frustrated.

"You want me to run?" I stood and walked towards the house, "that's fine. I mean, I've heard of better ways of dumping somebody Edward, but if this is yours, then I understand."

"You don't believe me?" he asked incredulous.

"Nope." I turned back. He growled. The sound startled me out of my amusement.

"Dammit Bella. I'm serious." He ran his hands through his hair and strode over to a boulder, and punched it.

"Edward, stop hitting rocks you'll only hurt-" I stopped talking. It seemed the rock needed protection from Edward, not the other way around. His hand had gone right into in, nearly halfway up his forearm, the outside of the mark buckled and distorted. I stared in shock at the spot I had been sitting on only minutes before.

Edward turned and smiled, "Believe me now?" I just gaped.

"Edward. You can't be right. Vampires don't exist." I stuttered.

"Of course they do Bella. Besides, you must have noticed that I'm not exactly normal." Well, that was true at least. His funny eyes that bewitched me no matter their colour. His freezing skin and his strange mannerisms. Most of which I'd put down to some odd side effect of depression. I hadn't really thought about it.

I stared at him, dumbfounded as he pulled his arm from the rock. Bits of dust poured from the hole, turning the surrounding grass a nice grey colour. He looked at the shock on my face and mistook it for fear.

"Bella. Are you okay?" he asked, stepping towards me. My brain finally clicked into gear at the concern in his voice. I grinned, a wider smile than before. Edward looked confused.

"Edward, that is seriously cool." I said as he started towards me.

Ever since I had met Edward, he had always been graceful. A ballet dancer looked like a waddling duck compared to him. So I was completely shocked when he stumbled on his way towards me.

He caught himself quickly, so much so that he was a blur. I gasped in wonder as he appeared next to me.

"Bella, how can you think that? I'm a vampire. Synonymous with scary?" I shook my head, "don't you have questions? Like what I eat, how old I am stuff like that."

"Don't vampires drink blood as a rule? But you're right, I do have a question." I replied, thinking furiously.

"What?" he asked guardedly.

"Well, if you're immortal, stunningly beautiful, able to have anything you want, why the hell are you depressed? Come on! How do you even commit suicide?"

"That's two questions," he replied, "be serious Bella."

"I am! Stop avoiding." I retorted. His eyes flashed.

"You know, I brought you out here, thinking you'd react like a sane person. I should've listened to Alice. She said you'd be fine. I just didn't think you were that crazy." He muttered, running his hand through his hair.

"Thank you," I bowed, "it's been ages since someone gave me such a compliment," He rolled his eyes, "you're still avoiding the question.

"It's more complicated than you think. We can die, it just takes dismemberment and fire."

"So a wood chipper complete with barbeque?" I asked. He glared.

"Something like that. As to the other stuff, Bella, I'm old. I've watched every member of my family living happy lives that will last for an eternity. And it never happened for me, despite the length of time that I've waited. I was just lonely. I'm also a monster Bella. Lonely monsters shouldn't live for too long." He turned away, facing the river once more. His voice was full of pain.

I stepped forwards and slipped my hand in his. He pulled back momentarily before squeezing my hand with what I now recognised as limited force. He looked down at me and gave a small smile.

I smiled back and we both turned to the view. The area was lit only by the moon, shining through its warm cloud wrappings. I shivered. Edward looked back at me, pulled me towards him, and enveloped me in a hug. It didn't help. His skin began to suck the heat from me.

He sighed and pulled me towards the house.

"Come on," he urged, "Esme would kill me if you got hypothermia."

"I can't imagine Esme killing anything." I replied. Edward chuckled.

"Of course you can't. You have this romantic picture of my family in your head Bella. We sit around, sipping blood from little baggies, sleeping in silk lined coffins. When the reality is so different."

"You don't drink from blood bags?" I asked, stopping dead, suddenly curious. My mind had earlier shied away from how Edward ate. He didn't kill people did he? He gave a small chuckle.

"No Bella, we don't. Can we get inside? You really are going to get sick. We'll talk when you're warm."

We slipped inside. The food had been cleared away from the table, and everything was sparkling clean. I could hear the faint burble of the TV in the background.

Edward led me up the stairs into his bedroom. His window was fixed, the room warmer now that it was less exposed to the elements. I sat on the couch and he fetched a blanket. He then stood staring at me for a while, until I decided to speak.

"Edward, can I ask you something?" he nodded, "well, you confused me. You tried to get rid of me, before I knew what you were. And then, when I laughed, you were fine. Explain please."

"That wasn't a question Bella," I opened my mouth and he smiled a little, "but I'll answer you. I still have no intention of letting you stay. Once you fully understand what I am, you won't want to. That much I know. But I care too much about you to try and explain whilst you stand there freezing to death."

"I understand Edward. You're a blood sucking fiend." I replied. He shook his head, and reached out with his hand. His fingers traced over my cheeks, reaching up to brush some hair out of my eyes.

"Yes Bella I am. But the way you say those words tells me you don't believe me. Bella, I drink blood. And my kind can't eat without killing." I went numb.

"Edward, you kill people?" I asked.

"No Bella. My family and I eat animals. We're the vegetarians of the vampire world. But I have killed people in the past Bella. Many people. I hunted them, enjoyed feasting on their blood." I shivered. His eyes were dark and he was frowning as he spoke.

"Do you regret it?" I asked, knowing the answer. Edward was too full of sorrow to look back on the experience fondly.

"Of course I do. I've worked hard to control my thirst for humans, Bella. Then you come along and change it all." I gave him a quizzical look.

"Your blood smells amazing Bella. Like a banquet to a starving man. Your scent drives me crazy, but I'm addicted to it. Ever since you fell down those steps at school. Your blood was everywhere. It took everything I had not to kill you. It's a struggle every day not to sink my teeth through your luscious skin. Bella, I fantasise about how you'd taste if I just gave in. and no matter how much I try to stop it, or how bad I feel, the idea of you slipping down my throat just won't go away. I'm dangerous. Too dangerous for you to be around." I blinked.

"You want to eat me?" I asked. He nodded, "is that why you've kept me around?" Bella Swan: Meals on Wheels, wrapped in an appetising silk cover. Nice. I shivered as I imagined Edward leaning in, towards my neck, his lips brushing just as he bit. But I wasn't scared. If anything, the image was appealing.

"No Bella. I've kept you around because I like you. You're amazing. And I want you to be something other than a tempting snack." He stared into my eyes.

We remained still for a while, my brain processing at break neck speed. Then something he had said hit me.

"The rest of your family are vampires too?" he nodded, "wow. Do you go through many animals a week?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Bella, are you taking this seriously? You're asking about my eating habits."

"Of course I'm serious Edward. It's only right t know your boyfriend's favourite food. Not that I'd be able to cook it for you. Hang on, what normal food do you eat?"

"We don't. We can't digest human food Bella. And my favourite is mountain lion. Bella, you want to stay?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Of course I do. I mean, you're amazing Edward. Okay, so you're a fussy eater. And you have some odd hang ups. But I really like you Edward, and I'm not walking away because you've decided I should. If you want me to go, I'll leave now. But I don't think you do. Not really. Of course, I have many questions, but I'm tired. So I'll ask them tomorrow, okay?" I had stood whilst talking. This had placed Edward just a few inches in front of me, and I could see the rise of his chest as he took at deep breath in.

I glared up at him. His expression had become indescribable as I spoke. When it finally cleared, it was my turn to hold my breath.

"Okay. You're right Bella. I'd love for you to stay. But if you change your mind, that's fine Bella. I'll understand." He gave a tiny smile.

"I won't change my mind. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Goodnight." I stood on tip toes and kissed his cheek. He looked astonished, so I stuck my tongue out at him as I walked out the door, and down the stairs to reach Alice's room.

She sat on the bed, waiting patiently. I raised an eyebrow and she patted the space beside her expectantly.

"So Alice, do you actually sleep in here, or have you just hidden away your designer coffin?" I asked as I sat. She giggled.

"I don't sleep Bella." She replied.

"Ever?" I retorted.

"Never ever," She half sang, "you sure put Edward in his place. That was fun to watch."

"Watch? What, did you transform into a midget bat and hang from the ceiling?"

"He really is useless. No, I'm stuck in this shape forever. Stop making fun of my diminutive stature. It's nothing a pair of heels won't cure."

"Yes. A whole 12 inches." She blew a raspberry. I picked up a pillow and threw it at her. She grinned and ripped the pillow in half easily. She then poured the feathers over my head. I spluttered, and I heard her twinkling laugh as I puffed feathers out of my face.

"Alice! Stop cheating. No vampire strength allowed. Understood?" she nodded, still laughing. I looked around, "Alice, if you don't sleep, why do you have a bed?" she started to laugh again.

"Come on Bella, you know the answer to this one. Use your imagination." I blushed.

"Are all vampires as mean as you Alice?" I asked, keeping my face serious. Her face fell and she pouted.

"Come on Bella, it was funny!" she whined. She looked so adorable I couldn't stop myself laughing.

"Ripping up pillows, forcing me to shop, giving me mentally scarring images of you and Jasper, Alice, I think you have a sadistic streak. Not to mention you're always in control."

"Actually, I think Jasper might dispute that one," she said thoughtfully, "he's usually the one in charge when-" I threw another pillow and she giggled again.

"Eew Alice. Don't want to know." I pulled a face. And promptly yawned. Alice grinned.

"Come on then. Time for you to sleep. Go get changed." She pushed me towards the bathroom. I obeyed, still yawning.

When I emerged in my pyjamas, Alice had cleaned all of the feathers away, and there was a new pillow in place of the shredded one.

Alice herself was fiddling with the products on the vanity, looking at them sadly. I peeked over her shoulder, as I spoke. It looked like Alice had bought half a spa and packed it tightly onto the dresser.

"Alice, if you don't sleep, what are you going to do while I'm out? Whoa. What's all that stuff? You don't need it if you're a vampire surely." Alice gave a smile. Her eyes lit up.

"Don't be silly Bella, it's all for you. You wanna try some?" I yawned again and her face fell.

"Maybe tomorrow, Alice." I replied. She nodded, still looking dejected.

I slid into the bed and she hopped up beside me. She made a show of tucking me in, causing me to giggle slightly.

"Sleep. If you wakes up with bags under your eyes, Edward will kill me." I snorted.

"I don't think he can reach down that far." I replied as I shut my eyes. I felt Alice disappear for a moment and the lights clicked out, before she reappeared quickly.

The day of shopping, socialising and being shocked by my superhuman boyfriend had taken its toll. It was still early, only ten or so. Still, I was half asleep when I heard Alice murmur.

"Night night Bella. Try not to sleep talk too loudly." I tried to reply, but was sucked further down into darkness.

I gave up, and rolled easily into dreams of fanged pillows and rock shopping.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: So, it's been even longer. I hope its worth the wait! ^^.

Disclaimer: This all belongs to S. Meyer. As if you didn't already know that!

When I woke, the sun was just peeking above the trees, glinting on the mist that had wound its way through the forest. I was alone in the room, and I could hear the faint sounds of people below.

I sat up, stretching my cramped muscles. I was surprised that Alice had not yet made an appearance, but the room was eerily quiet. I slipped out of bed slowly, not wanting to disturb the peace. As I dressed, I thought back to the night before.

Edward, a vampire. Alice I could see, but Edward just didn't seem like a vampire. I hadn't really heard of suicidal fanged fiends. Not that the Cullens seemed like fiends. Although, Rosalie did such justice to a death glare, I could imagine her having had many years to practise.

I slipped out the door, heading towards the voices downstairs. As I padded into the kitchen on socked feet, I was greeted by an extremely disturbing sight.

Although knowing the Cullen family for only a short period of time, I had formed ideas of them in my head. Filed them into little boxes. Of course, them being vampires had blown this notion out the window, but I had hoped that would be the only surprise. Instead, I found that Esme was not the only cook in the house. It wasn't even Alice.

Instead, Emmet stood in front of the cooker, skilfully cooking pancakes on a griddle. If it hadn't been for the extremely bright pink pinafore that covered his jean and t-shirt ensemble, it probably would have been rather amusing. Emmet turned to grin at me.

"Morning. Have a good night's sleep?" I stared at him dazedly.

"Emmet," I asked eventually. He gave a cute little grin, "what on Earth are you wearing?"

"Don't you like it? Had to have it made special, seeing as I'm so tall and athletic. And it's nicer than getting stains on my clothes when I cook."

"You cook often?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Every Sunday. I love the smell of bacon. Drives everyone else crazy, but I'm addicted to it." He flashed his teeth in another smile and turned back to the pancakes.

"A vampire who's barmy for bacon. Who'd have thought it." I mused, sitting down on a bar stool, leaning on the marble counter. He deposited a plate of pancakes and a jug of syrup in front of me. I thanked him, and he smiled again.

I dug in to the stack, starving. The pancakes melted in my mouth, giving a heavenly flavour that I couldn't help but moan about. Emmet chuckled, as I wolfed the entire stack.

"More?" he asked. I shook my head.

"Where's Edward?" I asked instead. I felt a cold hand on my shoulder and turned to meet Edward's eyes. He smiled down at me.

"Hey. You all finished?" he asked. I shivered as his warm honey voice slid over my skin. I stared at him helplessly, unable to remember what he had actually said. He frowned, "Bella?"

"Hmmm?" I replied.

"Are you still hungry? I can get Emmet to put his cooking obsession to good use for once." I shook my head. Emmet scoffed.

"My skills rock Eddie! It's yours that are lacking. Aren't I the best Bella?" I turned and grinned at Emmet.

"You're a real domestic goddess Emmet." I replied dryly. Edward laughed, and I could hear the others from far away rooms joining in the chorus. Emmet frowned, and sniffed dramatically. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know about domestic goddess, but he's certainly a drama queen," replied Edward. I snickered.

"We're going to Edward's room not Emmet. We'll leave you to cry in peace. Let's go Edward." I said quickly and shortly, as Emmet's face darkened.

"With orders like that, I think Bella's the queen here." He replied mulishly. Edward grinned and performed a courtly bow before scooping me up in his arms and zooming out of the kitchen. He set me down in his room nanoseconds later, just as I managed to squeak in protest. He grinned a crooked smile that made me catch my breath once more. I turned and sat unsteadily on the sofa. Edward perched next to me.

"Edward," I began, turning to face him. Unfortunately, I caught his gaze once more, and had to pause to recover my thoughts.

"Yes Bella?" he breathed, reaching up to stroke my cheek.

"Can I have my book back?" I asked, wincing slightly. Edward had not responded well to previous requests for the book. He closed his eyes, a frown marring his features.

"No," he said finally. I raised an eyebrows.

"Will I ever get it back?" I asked carefully. He smiled briefly.

"It seems unlikely," He replied. I scowled. His fingers were instantly on my forehead, smoothing out my face, "don't frown. You'll get wrinkly. You should smile more instead."

"I have a manic-depressive, kleptomaniac vampire boyfriend with a destructive streak and poor taste. Why am I smiling again?" I replied shortly. His eyes widened at my tone.

"Bella-" Edward began, but I shook my head.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Just trying to deal with all of this information."

"You were fine with me being a vampire last night."

"I know. And I still am. I think. But I have loads of questions." I mumbled, looking down.

"So ask them," he replied steadily, tilting my face up again. I swallowed.

"How old are you?"

"107." I felt my jaw drop. He chuckled.

"Ok. How old were you when you became a vampire?"

"90 years. I'm seventeen."

"Is it just the hyperactive midget that never sleeps, or do all vampires stay awake all the time?"

"You honestly think anyone could sleep with the racket Alice makes usually? Vampires don't sleep."

"How did you become a vampire?" Edward smiled.

"I got bitten."

"No kidding. Is that all I get?"

"Yes. It is an entirely pointless question. You get one more." He replied sternly.

"Seriously?" I gasped. He nodded.

"Yes, and that was it." I growled. He replied in the same way, only with a much more impressive attempt. I shivered.

"Ok, ok. Someone's grouchy today. But one more, please?" He shook is head. I pouted. He sighed.

"Fine. One."

"What does mountain lion actually taste like?"

His jaw dropped, and I could hear the roar of laughter from below.

"Bella!" he finally squeaked. I grinned.

"Come on Edward. I'm curious. I've never tried it. Maybe you could bring some home and let me try? It would be a dinner date you'd enjoy." His eyes narrowed into slits. I swallowed.

"Enjoy? It would rip you to shreds. Its paws are bigger than your face Bella! A dinner date? Between me and the lion with you on a silver platter? That would be absolutely brilliant don't you think? Bella, where do you get these ideas from?" his voice had started off as a deadly whisper, but increased to a yell. I flinched back, until I was pressed against one end of the sofa.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to make a joke." My eyes were filling with water, and I sniffed. Edward's angry posture melted instantly and he moved towards me slowly. I stood and walked towards the window.

"Don't joke about things like that Bella. You could end up dead. That's not something that I will let happen for a long time. Can't you see how hard this is for me? You're human, breakable. I'm a vampire, with skin like granite. Your skin is as soft as rose petals and just as easily shredded.

"Bella, I've never cared for someone so much in my life. I love my family, but that love is nothing compared to the desire I have to be by your side every second of every day. Bella, it hurts me when I think of you getting a paper cut. Don't joke about meeting wild lions. You might just kill me, without the wood chipper barbeque. Can't you see how hard this is for me?" he moved behind me, and turned me around, hands on my shoulders. I stared up at him, slightly shocked.

"How hard this is for you?" I asked incredulously, "Seriously Edward? Great, so I'm breakable. You don't think I know that? That you want to eat me. I'm the one who has just found out that vampires exist. I have to deal with having a bipolar vampire stalking me. All of this, is too much, and you expect me to just accept it without any joking around? Being totally serious? No way. Because I have the feeling that that would probably kill me, and it wouldn't take a wood chipper either."

"Okay, I think maybe you two need a little time out." Came Emmet's voice from the doorway.

"Go away Emmet." Edward growled.

"You need to stop Edward." Alice's voice sounded now. I looked down. She was standing underneath the arm Emmet had braced against the door frame. He turned to glare at her and snarled. In a flash, Jasper was standing protectively in front of her, also snarling. I caught a glimpse of Alice's worried face.

I stepped around Edward, and turned to face him. I could hear Jasper's rumbles, but ignored them. I reached carefully, and forced Edward to look at me, averting his gaze from where he was watching Jasper carefully.

"Bella, you need to move, now." I heard Emmet say, but it was from a distance. I was lost in Edward's eyes. No longer the golden honeyed colour from five minutes ago, they were pitch black. It wasn't so much the colour but the emotions that had me ensnared. The hunger there was immeasurable, almost like staring down a swarm of locusts. Pain was intensely present as well. I wanted to scream in sympathy at the agony I saw in Edward's dilated eyes. But it was the strength of will and protectiveness that kept me pinned to the spot. I felt like I was swimming.

I felt myself sway, before I was violently jerked to one side, and lost eye contact. I shook myself, and gasped for air in surprise, as Emmet knocked me sideways, landing in top of me. I tried to squirm away but he held me firm.

"Stay still Bella." I froze at Emmet's growl. I could hear Alice murmuring quietly in the background. Edward was still growling, but Jasper's growls had escalated.

"Emmet. Get off of Bella. Edward, take her home. Emmet, help me take Jasper outside to cool off." Carlisle's voice came. Emmet shifted immediately off me.

I just had a chance to see Jasper being restrained by Rosalie, Carlisle and Alice before Edward had swung me up into his arms and down the corridor to Alice's rooms. He set me on my feet and shoved the last of my clothes back into my overnight bag. I was frozen to the spot, staring at him.

"Let's go Bella." Edward said quietly. I didn't move. He sighed, and picked me up once more. I felt the air rush past, and I was seated in his car, with my seatbelt on, as Edward started the engine.

We were halfway to my house before my brain caught up with my body. I looked over at Edward. He was gripping the steering wheel hard enough that I could see splits forming in the cover.

"What just happened?" I asked, feeling a little lost. Edward laughed.

"You're back? Oh good. You almost got yourself killed Bella. I know you aren't stupid, so you must be suicidal. Who told you that it was a good idea to stand between two angry vampires?" his voice was quiet, but his tone was lethal.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. I felt the car brakes slam on instantly, and jerked forward as we came to a stop. Edward put the car into reverse and shot back, until he came to a side road. He swerved into it, before switching of the engine.

"What are you sorry for Bella? Standing between me and Jasper? Refusing to move when Emmet said to? Trying to get back up so that you could be in the way again? Nearly getting yourself killed? Or wanting to die? An apology is no good unless you know why you're saying sorry Bella." His hand had caught my jaw, forcing me to look into his eyes. I felt the tears well up.

"I'm sorry that I yelled at you. That I did something that meant your family had to interfere. That it ended badly because of me. I'm not suicidal Edward. I just-" I broke off, looking down. Edward only tilted my head up further.

"Just what, Bella? Why did you move from behind me?" his eyes were full of pain now.

"I didn't want you to fight. I thought that I could maybe calm you down."

"Don't ever do that again. Ever. I never want to watch that again. Promise me Bella, that you'll stay behind me next time."

"Next time? Edward, wha-" he silenced me with a finger to my lips, releasing my face.

"Let's get you home." He started the car, and swiftly got us to my house. I sighed as he parked outside what now seemed like a cramped bungalow.

"What?" Edward asked, worried.

"Nothing. Guess I just wanted this to go on a bit longer." Edward smiled, his expression easy now.

"Let me walk you to the door. Then, when you're inside, I can drive the car home and run back to visit you in your room."

"Stalker vampire at my service?" I smiled. He nodded and gave a half bow before getting out of the car, walking round to open my door. He grabbed my hand and we walked up to the door.

When we reached the top of the steps leading to the door I turned, to face him. I stumbled slightly, crashing into his chest. He grabbed me and hauled me upright.

"Clumsy Bella returns," I grumbled. He grinned. I leaned up, still flush against him and kissed his cheek. I felt him growl in shock, and began to pull away. he stopped me, bringing me in tight again."

"Bella. What was that?" he asked.

"Erm, a kiss goodbye?" I asked, slightly breathlessly. He chuckled.

"No Bella, that definitely wasn't a kiss. This is a kiss goodbye." He leaned in and I instinctively closed my eyes. I could almost hear the smirk, as his nose brushed mine. Nothing followed. I opened one eye, glaring at him a few inches away.

"Where's my kiss?" I asked. He chuckled, and leant in so that he was a few millimetres away. I growled, and leaned in that last little bit.

As we kissed, I forgot about everything but Edward's lips.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: ok, yes, I had hoped that this would be up fairly quickly, but obviously, that hasn't happened. I'm sorry ^^*. But RL sucks. Majorly. Kinda like Edward! ;)

Disclaimer: Strangely enough, Twilight isn't mine. End of. =)

His lips were cold and smooth, like stone. Unyielding too. But definitely not unmoving. They felt light and nimble as they teased my own mouth, dancing and sliding as I fought to keep my breath even. I failed as his scent invaded my nose, making me incredibly light headed. I gripped Edward, trying to bring him closer, but he held me steady. He seemed in no hurry to stop, instead holding me in place so that he could keep up his heavenly assault on my mouth.

It wasn't until we heard a throat clear that we jumped apart.

Charlie had arrived home from fishing and was standing at the bottom of the steps looking faintly amused. I blushed.

"Hi Dad." I stammered.

"Hiya Bells. You and Alice look like you're having fun." He glared at Edward. I tried to sink into the floor and failed miserably.

"Edward Cullen sir. I'm Alice's brother." Charlie nodded.

"Do you think maybe I could get inside?" he said. Edward and I parted and allowed him to pass. He paused, "Bella, you got a second?"

"Of course Dad. I'll see you later Edward." Edward grinned and waved at Charlie as he walked back to his car.

"What's up?" I asked as I shut the door. Charlie looked uncomfortable.

"I don't know how much of this you've talked about with Renee, Bells, but maybe we should have a chat to make sure."

"A chat about what?" I asked non-plussed.

"You and Edward, Bella."

"What about us? We were just kissing, Dad." I was still slightly confused.

"I know that Bella. But kissing leads to other things and-"

"Dad," I interrupted, "please do not go there. Please. We really don't need this conversation. Trust me." Charlie looked vastly relieved. I was beginning to think that my blush would be permanent. He nodded.

I picked up my bag and made my way over to the stairs.

"Just going to put my stuff away. I'll be down in a moment." Charlie was shuffling to hang up his fishing rod, and the TV was now switched to a football game. I sighed and trudged up the stairs.

I was putting clothes in the hamper when I felt two arms circle my waist and a velvety voice sound in my ear.

"Hello again love. Have a fun chat with Charlie?" I jumped, causing Edward to chuckle.

"Definitely. I have a question, Edward." I turned, hands on hips, slightly angry. He raised an eyebrow, and I melted slightly.

"Go on."

"If you're an amazing telepathic vampire, how the hell did you not hear Charlie coming?" I asked. Edward looked almost sheepish.

"Well, you see the thing is-"

"Spit it out Edward! My father just caught us snogging on the front porch, and you can't explain how your super hearing missed a police cruiser pulling up?" Edward snickered.

"In my defence," he started. I raised my eyebrows at him, "I had one of the most beautiful creatures I have even seen kissing me. It's very hard to concentrate with you so close like that. Still, I am sorry that he caught us like that. But it could have been worse."

"Worse!" I felt slightly faint. Charlie walking in on me and Edward naked. Ooh, Edward naked. What a wonderful thought. My mind slid from being caught to Edward, with as few clothes on as possible.

"Bella are you drooling?" asked Edward, sounding slightly confused.

"Don't be ridiculous Edward. Why would I be drooling?" I blushed, and shook my head to remove the images floating around in it. I was extremely happy that Edward had no idea what I was thinking.

I looked up, and Edward was staring at me intensely, a frown marring his face. I reached up to smooth it away, and he kissed my wrist as it came level with his mouth. I gasped, and he grinned.

"Where were we?" he asked quietly. I smacked him on the arm, and winced as my hand gave.

"Ouch. Stupid vampire! I'm not kissing you with Charlie downstairs, Edward. What if he came up?" I asked. Edward laughed.

"I promise, I'll pay more attention. He won't sneak up on us this time. Besides, he's very much engrossed in his football." He pulled a sad face, and I felt my resolve crumbling, the memory of our kiss outside still fresh.

"I don't know." I mumbled, turning away to hide a smile. He stepped closer, brining our bodies flush against one another. I stifled a gasp at the cold.

"I'd really like to kiss you Bella. Please?" He asked softly, bringing a hand up to stroke the cheek closest to him. My grin became even wider, and I turned quickly, pressing my lips against his. Or at least where I thought they'd be.

Edward had moved slightly, so that his face was closer than anticipated. My lips collided with his face, and I yelped as they hit against his teeth, and I felt my lips split where I had been gnawing on them previously.

Instantly, Edward jumped clear across the room. I gasped, both from surprise and the slight pain. I lifted a finger and touched it to my lips. It came away covered in blood. I looked up.

Edward's face was contorted in what looked like agony.

"Edward, are you alright?" I asked, taking a step towards him. He let out a low, threatening growl, and I froze. I took a swallowed and licked at my lip as I watched Edward's eyes darken to near black.

And screamed as Edward crashed into me, his mouth coming down on mine hard to swallow it. His tongue lapped at my lip where he held it in place with his teeth. I tried to push away, but had to stifle a whimper when I felt the skin tear even more, much to Edward's apparent delight as he groaned and held me closer, one hand on the small of my back, and the other tangled in my hair. I tried hitting him, to no avail.

After what seemed like an age, the bleeding must have stopped, because Edward broke away from my mouth, grinning like a madman.

"Oh Bella," he whispered, almost reverently, before coming back in, to kiss me this time. It was nothing like on the porch, which had been sweet and gentle. No this kiss was scary, as Edward seemed to try and devour me, or at least the little blood I had managed to get in my mouth anyways. I found myself not wanting to pull away, and started to fall into the darkness that was kissing Edward. Or was that just lack of oxygen?

I heard my heart thumping in my ears, and felt my knees go weak. Instead of letting me up for air, Edward simply swept me completely off my feet and laid me on the bed, never once breaking contact. He positioned himself over me, and I managed to open my eyes. Through a rapidly narrowing field of vision, I could see up to the ceiling of my room, and noticed a crack that looked remarkably like a pair of vampire fangs, which slowly faded into nothing.

When I came to, I found that Edward was thankfully no longer kissing me. Or my mouth anyways. He was nibbling along my collarbone, which I was almost certain had been completely covered by my shirt earlier. Not that I was complaining. I sighed, and Edward chuckled.

"Welcome back." He murmured his voice silky. He moved up to brush his lips against mine before moving off on a tangent to kiss along my jaw and up to my ear. I shivered slightly and he began to nibble down my neck, and squeaked when I felt his cold hands ghosting up my tummy, which had definitely not been accessible before I passed out.

I tried sitting up, only to have Edward tut and push me back down again, before going back to tracing random patterns along my torso.

"What are you doing?" I asked, a little breathlessly.

"I can feel the blood travelling in waves all over your body Bella. It's exquisite. It moved through all your arteries, as your heart struggled to get oxygen back to your poor, deprived brain. The way your heart is fluttering right now. Are you scared Bella?" he asked, his face momentarily lifting so our gazes could lock.

"Yes." I replied quietly, staring into his still black eyes.

"Shame. You didn't have enough self preservation not to get involved with a vampire. I'd've thought you wouldn't be scared now even, with me so close to taking your life."

"Please don't." I whispered. His teeth grazed along my neck, and I could almost feel the sharpness of them.

"I am truly sorry Bella. But I just can't stop. I tried to fight it, while you were unconscious, but you're just too delicious. Don't worry, I won't let you hurt for long, my love." I felt tears gathering, and felt one slip down my cheek. Edward lapped it up, before kissing my forehead.

He leant down into my neck, lapping at where a vein must have lain.

It's strange. I always thought I'd die in a little old folk's home, where I'd been for so long, the nurses had forgotten who I was and called me Edna. Never thought I'd date a vampire, who would then kill me.

Still, it was better than eating prunes for years.

Edward pushed his teeth down on my skin and I whimpered. He pressed down, and I could almost hear my skin pop.

And tear, as Edward was flung backwards off of me and the bed. I yelped, although it was muffled by a cold, stony hand over my mouth. I groaned as I felt the hand apply what felt like a massive amount of pressure.

"Ssh Bella, it will all be okay." I heard Alice whisper into my ear, trying to be soothing, "we'll get you back to Carlisle and you'll be fixed in no time."

I could hear growling in the distance but it seemed very far away. I tried to look up, but another set of hands held me firmly.

"He's gone Bella. Emmet and Rose took him out into the woods to hunt and find himself again." Came Esme's voice. Alice's voice murmured, too low for me to really hear what was said. Esme's hands shifted, and in a matter of seconds, I found myself blurring through the woods.

We quickly arrived at the mansion, and I found myself on a padded doctor's couch in what looked like an office. I looked around, confused.

"Hello there Bella." Carlisle smiled as he glided through the door, "can I take a look at your neck?" he seemed to be acting very human, presumably not to spook me. I appreciated it. I couldn't have taken much more vampireness at that moment in time.

He pulled away the cloth stuck to my neck, and I groaned. He tilted my head to the side to get better access, and sighed.

"Stay here for a second Bella. Don't move." He disappeared from my line of sight for a few moments, before returning with what looked like the biggest hypodermic needle made by man. I glared at him, making him chuckle.

"You need stitches Bella. I will need to numb the area, so that it will not become too painful for you to remain still. It will only take a second, I promise." I snorted.

"Okay, but as long as you know, I've had enough of vampires and pointy things tonight." Carlisle laughed outright at that, and I grinned, and groaned, partly in pain, and partly in relief, as the needle pinched into my neck and numbed the area.

"Better?" he asked.

"Oh yeah."

"Do you feel any pain when I do this?" he asked, and I felt him poke at the laceration.

"Nope. S'nice." I replied, suddenly sleepy.

"Bella, you seem to be losing a great deal of blood. I am going to sew this wound closed and give you a blood transfusion. What blood type are you?" He seemed concerned.

"AB positive."

"Are you on any medications at the moment?" he asked.

"Nope, none." Carlisle, seemed satisfied, and got to work sewing my wounds closed.

I fell asleep once he had finished and stuck a cannula in my arm, setting the transfusion going, though with the blood bag mercifully out of my sight.

I woke a while later, still groggy, to find the lights had been dimmed. The needle had disappeared from my arm, and I sat up, immediately becoming dizzy.

"Easy there Bella." Esme murmured, her hand stroking at my forehead. I looked down, trying to focus on staying upright.

"How are you feeling now, Bella?" Carlisle asked from across the room, seated in his desk chair.

"Better," I said, moving my stiff neck, and groaning as the pain came back, "worse. I honestly don't know." Carlisle chuckled, and Esme gave me a beautiful smelling hug. I leaned into it, and gasped in shock as I realised the state my clothes were in.

"What's the matter?" Esme asked concerned.

I tugged at my t-shirt, which had been split down the middle, although a chunk appeared to be missing as the torn edges would definitely not meet. Esme smiled, and stilled my hands.

I heard the door closed and looked over to find that Carlisle had left the room. Esme giggled.

"It doesn't matter you know. Still, Alice brought you a new shirt. We knew you'd be more comfortable changed."

"Thanks. To Alice too, if she's in the house." I spoke a bit louder, knowing she would hear me if she was. I pulled on the v neck top, being careful to avoid touching my neck, and smoothed it down.

I looked up, and Esme was smiling gently at me. Her hand reached up and brushed the hair from my eyes, tucking it gently behind my ear. She leant in and gave me another hug, which I gratefully returned. My eyes were drooping closed as my head rested on her shoulder when I heard glass shatter. I jumped, and looked towards the door.

Esme suddenly disappeared, and I followed her, albeit at human place into the living room. Several vases look to have been swept off the table and onto the floor, smashing them. I looked over to the vampires in the room, who were all huddling about Alice, looking concerned.

She was even paler than usual, and slightly grey. She looked like a statue, curled into a solid stone ball, with an agonised expression on her face.

"What's happened?" I asked, dread pooling in the pit of my stomach.

Jasper, Esme and Carlisle's heads all whipped around to look at me, as though they hadn't heard me enter. Alice looked up, her eyes bleak and sad.

"It's Edward. He's going to kill himself."


	12. Chapter 12

AN: It's been a very long time, I know. But hopefully with summer finally arriving, things might actually get updated once in a blue moon. Enjoy! ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, surprisingly.

"He's going to what?" I exclaimed.

"Commit suicide. Off himself. Leave this mortal coil. Pop his clogs." Alice replied, her voice as empty as her eyes.

"Alice, he's a vampire. How's he going to kill himself? Why would he even want to?" I asked, still confused and more than a little shocked.

"Bella, he attacked you today. And it wasn't an animalistic, over in ten seconds flat attack. He took his time." Alice started.

"He craved your blood. Gave into his lust for it. Enjoyed the scent of your luscious fear as it flowed from your every pore." Jasper continued, sounding almost hypnotised. I shot him a look.

"Shut up Jasper." It rolled so easily off my tongue, I was slightly surprised. Jasper just grinned.

"Why are you joking around?" I asked him.

"Because darlin', if there's one thing I know about our boy, it's that he's madly in love with yourself. All we need to do is find him, take you to him and let you talk him down. Easy as pie." Alice growled.

"Easy as pie? Jasper, you lying pig. You try finding him! He's jumping plans so quickly I don't know where he is. Or even where he'll be in an hour!" She curled up on herself even more, pressing her fingers to her temples. Jasper leant down and kissed her forehead.

"Take a break, sweet thing. He'll make up his own mind in his own sweet time. You'll see when he decides." Alice looked up at him, and gave a brief smile, but didn't move from her huddle on the floor.

"Question. Weren't Emmet and Rosalie with him?" I asked.

"He ran off from them. He's a lot faster than they are Bella." Esme replied.

"Well, yes, but don't vampires have this ability to track other vampires? So couldn't they just follow him and see where he's headed?" I asked. Carlisle shot me a sad smile.

"They followed him up to Canada, before he looped back and on the way home took to the sea. It is impossible to track someone in the water like that, Bella. A good idea, but not sound here I'm afraid."

"So what do we do now, stay here and worry all night?" I asked. Esme smiled.

"We do Bella. You get to go home and sleep." I opened my mouth to complain, just as a yawn hit.

"Come on the Bella. I'll drive you back." Carlisle murmured. He guided me towards the door, a hand on the small of my back.

"This is ridiculous. You'll just have to come wake me up when you find him!" I finally found my voice.

"It won't take very long at all to collect you Bella, and I really think that you need to rest after a day like the one you've just experienced. " Carlisle replied, not letting up on the pressure on my spine. He pushed me out and down the steps, guiding me to a sleek, black Mercedes, which I got into meekly, sensing I wouldn't win an argument with the head of the family.

We glided off into the night, the smoothness of the driving somewhat wondrous, given the speed at which we were driving. We pulled up just down the street from my house way too quickly; it seemed to my exhausted brain. My neck was throbbing now, and my throat had closed up, my eyes fighting to stay open. Carlisle got out, came around to the passenger side and gently cradled me in his arms, shushing me when I made a noise of pain at the change in position.

He swept up a doctor's bag and set off towards the house, his pace so even, it felt like we were barely moving. He hopped up onto the branch next to my window in a single jump, taking care not to jostle me.

He slid through the still open window and laid me carefully on my bed. I sat up carefully, watching Carlisle as he dug opened up his bag, having propped it on the chest of draws. He turned back with a box of pills. He cocked his head for a second, as though listening to something, before popping them on the bedside table, and sneaking out of the bedroom.

He returned only seconds later with a glass of water. He popped two tablets and handed them to me, along with the glass. I dutifully swallowed down the pills, as Carlisle moved to sit on the rocking chair in the corner.

"Why don't you get ready for bed Bella? I'll wait, and we can talk about what you will tell Charlie about this new injury." I nodded, and got to my feet, slightly unsteady for some reason.

I grabbed my pyjamas, and wandered into the bathroom. I washed quickly, avoiding looking in the mirror. I didn't like my reflection at the best of times, and I had a feeling I wasn't exactly looking my best.

I pulled on the soft cotton PJs, wincing slightly. I made my way back into my room after brushing my teeth, just as Carlisle slid his phone back into his pocket.

"Who was that?" I asked, perking up a little.

"Just Alice."

"You've found Edward? Where is he? We should go. Let me just grab my-"

"Bella, Bella, calm down! She just called to remind us about the turtleneck sweater that the two of you purchased today. She thinks the best plan of action is to wear it tomorrow, and reveal the injury as something that happens another time. There is no sign of Edward," I slumped down on the bed, "Bella, that's a good thing, it means nothing has happened yet. We still have time."

"How does Alice even know?" I asked, confused. Carlisle looked surprised.

"You didn't discuss this with Edward at all?" I shook my head.

"We never got that far."

"I see. Well Bella, the simple explanation is that Alice can see the future. I think perhaps we should save the more in depth discussion about vampires for another time, don't you?"

"So Alice is a prophesising, kleptomaniac, speeding, midget vampire shopping addict on speed?" I blurted. Carlisle looked at me strangely for a moment, before bursting into laughter.

It was the first time I'd seen him laugh properly, and I was shocked at the change. He went from a rather imposing doctor type to a much more carefree man. In that moment, I definitely envied Esme, just a little bit.

As his laughter subsided into a chuckle, he got up, and helped tuck me into bed.

"Yes Bella. Alice is very much a unique young lady." He kissed my forehead, and I suddenly felt very childlike myself, "now get some sleep. One of us will come and collect you when we know more." I yawned, and snuggled into the covers. Carlisle switched off the light and moved towards the window.

"G'night Carlisle. Thank you." I mumbled as I began to doze off.

"Goodnight Bella, but there is nothing to thank me for." I heard him say softly as he slipped out of the window.

I would like to say that I stayed awake to think about that statement, but in reality, I was unconscious before Carlisle had even closed the window.

When I awoke, it was to the pitter-patter of rain on my window, as the wind blew the drops onto the glass. I sat up, stretching, hissing as my neck pulled slightly, but otherwise very groggy. It wasn't until I looked at the clock, telling me it was nearly eight o'clock that the weekend's events came crashing down on me.

I jumped out of bed, swearing, as I hurriedly pulled on the first outfit I came to. I was about to rush out of the door to grab breakfast when my phone beeped. I fumbled for it, hoping for some news about Edward, dropping it twice before I finally managed to read the message.

_Calm down Bella! Slow down, change into the sweater and pop some more pills. You can't help Edward if you've fallen down the stairs and broken your neck! Jazz'll pick you up in 15._

_A Xxx_

I snorted as I looked down at what I was wearing. Black trousers, vest top. More Phoenix wear than Forks. I pulled off the top and grabbed the blue sweater, trying not to yelp as it pushed on my neck uncomfortably.

I quickly swallowed another two pills, still where they had been left last night, finishing off the glass of water. I made my way swiftly to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and hurried down the stairs, taking a little care, not wanting to fall.

I had just managed to speed munch through my bowl of cereal when the door bell rang. I could hear Charlie getting ready for work upstairs, so I ran for the door.

Jasper stood there, looking slightly odd in a short sleeved checked shirt, which was much too cold for the weather.

"Bella." He gave me a smile that was more of a grimace, and I gave him a confused look.

"What's the matter? Something happened didn't it? Why didn't you come get me sooner-"

"Shut up darlin'. Nothin' happened. I'm just a little thirsty right now is all. Grab your coat and school stuff, and we'll get goin'." He smiled, properly this time, and I noticed how dark his eyes were.

"School? You're kidding?"

"Nope. Education is important. Plus, we have no clue what Edward's up to, so we might as well. Come along, we'll be late." I opened my mouth to argue, but he just pushed me back into the house, scooping up my bag and handing me my coat before towing me out of the door.

I slid into the car, fuming. I didn't want to go to school. I wanted to go out, hunt Edward down and scream at him, both for hurting and scaring me and for thinking he could kill himself to make it all better. Stupid, hard headed vampire.

I was concentrating so hard on my inner ranting that I didn't notice that we had reached school until Jasper was holding open the door for me, in a gentlemanly fashion. I thanked him, and headed into school.

I barely made it to the first class in time, plonking myself into my seat just as the bell rang. I didn't concentrate on the lesson, instead thinking about where Edward was at this very moment, which was much more important than integration by parts.

The day dragged by, but I finally made it through to the last period, gym. With my klutzy nature it was hell on a usual day, but with my mind elsewhere, it was an absolute disaster.

We were playing dodge ball, or meant to be. Normally, I'm out first. This time, I jumped at the sound of balls bouncing, slipped on a ball; fell on Jess, who was in the middle of throwing a ball. It went up, hit the ceiling and hit Mike square on the head. He toppled over, knocking Ben flat, who accidentally punched Tyler, breaking his nose.

It probably resembled some sort of comedy outtake, but in reality all of the wounded ended up limping into the Nurse's office. I had sprained my ankle, and the others all had various injuries. As a result, I was waiting by Jasper's car long before the final bell rang.

I still jumped out of my skin when Jasper suddenly appeared next to me, holding the door to the car open, grinning.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. What have you done to yourself now?" he drawled. I blushed and hopped into the car, just managing to clip my seatbelt into place as Jasper zoomed around and started the car.

"I didn't do anything. A basketball attacked me." I mumbled.

"Ah. Well, basketballs are well known for their vicious nature. They're too tough for even a vampire to take down." He replied as pulled out of the school lot.

"I can imagine. One of the few vampire predators." Jasper snorted, "Where are we going?"

"Home. Cullen home, I mean. Carlisle wants to talk to you about vampires, given that Edward messed it up spectacularly."

"We're not going looking for him?" I asked, frowning.

"Nope," he replied, popping the p, "that's Alice and Esme's job for now."

He turned into the driveway and sped towards the mansion. The car jolted to a stop, causing me to lurch into the seatbelt as Jasper exercised a 3 point turn and reversed the car into the garage in less time than it would've taken me to switch the car on.

It took a while for my stomach to catch up with the rest of me, and I had to swallow a couple times until I was sure I wouldn't hurl. When I felt well enough to open my eyes, I glanced at Jasper. His expression was a weird mix of contrition and laughter. I scowled.

"I'm sorry." He sniggered, not sounding sorry at all. I harrumphed, and punched his bicep. And cradled my hand against my chest, as my hand protested.

"Note to self, do not punch vampires, even if they're being really irritating." I grumbled, ignoring Jasper's chuckle as I clambered out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me.

I stomped as best I could up the steps and reached for the door handle, only to have the door open on me by a crinkly eyed Emmet.

"You alright Bells? You should be thankful. He could have done it a lot faster. Want to try it with me?" I gave him a look. He stepped back, pretending to be terrified. I stalked past, to be greeted properly by Carlisle, who held out a glass of water, which he handed to me. I sipped it and sank onto a sofa.

"I apologise Bella. My sons have never really grown up. Would you come sit in the study and have a chat with me?" I nodded and stuck my tongue out at Jasper as I walked past.

I sat in one of the chairs and watched as Carlisle settled into his own chair on the same side of the desk, looking remarkably human as he shifted, trying to get comfy.

"Now Bella, I understand that Edward has told you some about our world, but not all of it. If you tell me what he's told you already, I can fill in the blanks."

"Erm, ok. You're vampires, you drink animal blood, you're very fast and strong and you never sleep. Alice also told me you don't turn into bats." This drew a chuckle from Carlisle.

"Bats," he shook his head, "well at least he told you the basics. Vampires are made by being bitten. We make a nasty venom that is present in our saliva that will infect anything that survives a bite. We appear dead, as we have no heartbeat and our bodies are at room temperature. We have greatly heightened senses and are the best predator you will ever meet. And that's just your average vampire. Some of us are blessed with other abilities such as Alice's foresight."

"Is Alice the only one here with special abilities?" I asked.

"No, she isn't. Edward-" he cut off, just as Jasper burst into the room.

"Alice just called. Edward's made a decision. He's going to the wolves." Carlisle froze, staring at Jasper in horror.

"The wolves?" I asked, "How would wolves kill him?"

"They're not just any wolves Bella. They're werewolves. And they'll rip him to shreds.

"When?" I asked, weakly.

"Ten minutes, tops." Emmet charged into the room, scooped me up into his arms and took off, running through the woods.

"Will we get there in time?" I shouted, hanging on for grim death.

"I sure hope so." He replied grimly. I closed my eyes against the sickening blur of the forest, praying that we'd find Edward still in one piece.


End file.
